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Should we abandon cars to save the world’s cats? This (rightfully) very sad I, Anonymous thinks so: Hopefully now you’ll decide to stop driving a car and get a bike for so many reasons including the amazing benefit of likely not killing anymore cats. That sweet and brilliant little fuzzball changed how I feel about […]

Dear Scrabble players of Portland… What part of “We’ll be closing in 10 minutes” made you think starting a Scrabble game was a good idea? There is an alarming trend in Portland with people thinking it’s okay to sit in a restaurant 30 minutes after close. Who does that? Apparently thoughtless Scrabble players do! Do […]

And now, an I, Anonymous Blog public service announcement to Nike executives: Guess what? You’re all a bunch of dicks. You’ve got money to spend? great! So do the rest of the people in those establishments- people who haven’t made it off of the backs of sweat-shop workers, people trying to go out, have a […]

Soooooo… what would YOU do? As I was being verbally threatened by a 6’4″ crazy street guy on SW 10th and Washington last night, you just stood there RIGHT NEXT TO ME, waiting for the light to change. So, I pull out my mace and tried to get the man to leave my personal space. […]

WHAAAAAAAAT???? Standing in line at the Kenton st. Post office. A white guy in line says he’s mailing a bomb. The black female clerk leaves the counter and a white clerk comes out and serves the bomber anyway.they were like old friends. Mmmm… maybe he said he was sending something to his “mom”? Mother’s day […]

There’s such a thing as “restaurant manners.” And I’m pretty sure this person broke those rules: I have you two in the middle booth. A grandma and grandpa the booth to your right, and a very good looking single bar regular to your left. And even with all that, every time I walked up to […]

We received a bunch of new I, Anonymous Blog submissions over the weekend… but this one still cracks me up. No, that plate isn’t clean either. And when you put a plate with grease on the bottom of it on top of another plate, then both dishes are now dirty. Now, I get to rewash […]

Heyyyyyy…. Did someone put fluoride in the I, Anonymous Blog? Because this well-known poison is making some people act CRAZY! Here’s an example from a post called, “Did You Actually GO to Journalism School?” I THOUGHT that journalists were supposed to actually ASK questions of people in authority, as opposed to toe-ing the line for […]

From a submission titled, “Girls Who Don’t Rock”: I was at a metal show last night. There was a girl (who probably has no idea who Cliff Burton was), who was thrashing her head around. Every 3 or 4 minutes, she’d stop…and fix her fucking hair. I mean, she’d actually take out her barrette and […]

Hey local butchers! GET IT TOGETHER. Seriously, you guys are getting worse than bicyclists in this town. Dear “Butcher” at Upscale Organic Chain, You’re the most expensive store in town, generally about 10% higher than the immediate competition. And yet, when I ask for two-thirds (2/3, .67) of a pound of ground beef, you give […]