What do you get when you don’t tip? SLIME TOMATOES. I would never spit on someones food, but once you have stiffed me a couple times, you get the slime tomatoes from the bottom, and the worst of everything else. Don’t worry, I remember your face. You can think of whatever excuse or reasoning you […]
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“14% of Voters Believe in Bigfoot”
Public Policy Polling has released the results of their latest poll, in which they polled American voters on 20 conspiracy theories. The results are terrifying: 15% of voters say the government or the media adds mind-controlling technology to TV broadcast signals There’s much more, including 9/11 Truth theories, contrails, the “sinister” addition of fluoride to […]
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The I, Anonymous Blog Quote o’ the Day!
Loud-mouth Last Thursday drunkards? BEWARE. One night last summer at about 1:00am, a group of you woke me up with a loud argument about where you’d parked your car. You were a few houses down by the time I began following you, and I remained hidden for at least 20 minutes as you bickered and […]
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This Week in Sex
Every week, lawmakers and law breakers get real mad about all the sex they’re not having, and it’s been an especially busy one, and not just for marriage equality! Here’s the recap of the other news in sex: Aaron Jackson, who runs a charity organization called “Planting Peace,” bought the house across the street from […]
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The I, Anonymous Blog Quote o’ the Day!
Meanwhile over on the I, Anonymous rant blog, this are getting umm…. scientific. And moderately sexual. Put in wordy yet somewhat ambiguous terms that you can understand: The sound of this dirty south is luminous, and the brilliance behind the feel, just might cause euphoria… If the specimen has balls, please higher the downward motion, […]
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The I, Anonymous Blog Quote o’ the Day!
Too much information. TOO MUCH INFORMATION!! Several weeks ago (a month?), we started fooling around a little. Making out, dry humping, nipple play etc. Well, on my own time and in my mind, I kept that session going. I got soo excited about how We were probably going to screw real soon, that I took […]
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The I, Anonymous Blog Quote o’ the Day!
In this screed, Anonymous goes off on a “miserable bartender” who… apparently wasn’t “service industry-ish” enough for him? Look, it’s not my fault you have to work for a living. If you’re busy, you’re making money. If I ask for a drink before you’re ready to take my order, please don’t whine about how I’m […]
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The I, Anonymous Blog Quote o’ the Day!
While most of the submissions on the I, Anonymous Blog tends toward screeching rants about bicyclists, poor people, and the opposite sex, every once in awhile, things get real: I couldn’t believe it when I opened my eyes twelve hours later. I vomited repeatedly, then I got angry because I WAS NOT DEAD. And because […]
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The I, Anonymous Blog Quote o’ the Day!
There’s a lot of talk about lady parts on the I, Anonymous Blog this week. For example, this out of context quote: I have a VAGINA, I don’t pee well on fucking trees! Read the rest of the context here—if you need to. Probably don’t. Do you have something of import to say about the […]
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Another Reason Obama is Awesome: He Has His Own Shape-Shifting Alien Bodyguard!!
Did you know I once applied for the Secret Service? (I was rejected for OH, so many obvious reasons.) HOWEVER! Now I don’t feel so bad because I know who I was up against: SHAPE-SHIFTING ALIENS. According to this hilariously (totally serious, guys!) report, a “reptilian shape-shifting humanoid alien” was spotted working on President Obama’s […]
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The I, Anonymous Blog Quote o’ the Day!
Sir and/or madam… cease judging our yard! So you’re offended by the mattress behind our fence, behind the bushes, in our backyard? …and the trash behind the bushes in our front yard? … and the overhanging branches by the sidewalk? Well, sir or mam, I am offended by you’re inability to tell us to our […]
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The I, Anonymous Blog Quote o’ the Day!
You know it’s Spring when… If you drive on a bike boulevard and a) tailgate the hell out of cyclists* while practically giving off audible psychic waves of frustration and rage (this is extra “fun” for cyclists while they’re chugging up steep hills, like the ones going east on Clinton Street) or b) do that […]