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Hmm… wonder what’s going on over at the I, Anonymous Blog today? Let’s see… Let me cut to the chase: I ejaculate in your food. GAHHH!! Oh god, C’MON!! Really? Seriously? And what’s even worse, he doesn’t even tell us what restaurant he works for, so I’m gonna be thinking about slurping up this guy’s […]

Today in “Biting the hand that feeds you… FOR FREE, I might add”: Dear Portland Mercury,I doubt this will make it in, as you probably have thousands of “DPM” to go through but…I hate you.You are so boring! Your one day at a time used to bring a chuckle to my week, (as long as […]

I have no idea what this dude is talking about… though it kind of sounds like something Shia LaBeouf would plagiarize from Dianetics. When the face you see in the mirror smiles with no happiness and your eyes still have a look of loss and emptiness, do you notice? Or do you see a new […]

Okay, so this has to be a first for the I, Anonymous Blog: A guy who exacts his revenge using crows?!? Why? Night after night , you park on the wrong side of the street, facing the wrong direction, forcing me to do either: 1)the same, park in front of your hipster Craig’s-list shanker, or […]

AHHHHHH… here’s one of my fave I, Anonymous submissions of the week… from a 60-years-YOUNG fella who walks 3-5 miles a day—but doesn’t like it when students take the bus! Take it away, whippersnapper-hater! I am OLD (60 and healthier than some of these 16 year olds) and I get where they are going faster […]

Don’t get it twisted! This guy doesn’t hate gays… he just hates PEOPLE. So the other week walking home on 28th being in my usual deep well of self loathing I see a happy couple walking the other way. Just the damned perfect picture of happy couple arm in arm. Now my only thing with […]

HELP!! HEEEEEELP!!! HACKERS!! HACKERS!! HAAAAAAACKERRRRRRRSSSS!!! Thank you public meeting spaces of Portland, (and the world for that matter), with zero IT savy. You provide fertile ground for me and those like me to hone my skill set. As I write this We are using bit torrent to copy no less than three movies, a porn […]

GUYS! After desperately trying for the past two years to figure out what the I, Anonymous Blog actually is—an anonymous ranter has figured it out! Check out this clip from his post entitled, “It’s a Rant Blog, Not a Clever Quip Blog!” I’m always amazed at how much people expect from their free entertainment. If […]