Did you know that the WWE has a Teabagger wrestler now? His name is Zeb Colter, and I think he’s supposed to be a joke. Maybe? When I was a kid, I sort of followed wrestling. I hated the Iron Sheik, because he seemed like an excuse for WWF fans to spread their jingoistic racism […]
?!?!?
Posted in?!?!?
The I, Anonymous Blog Quote o’ the Day!
Sometimes people submit I, Anonymous Blog posts just to fuck with our brains. This is one of those times. Anyshits, turns out three cougars were crawling outta the canyon and within a few days 3 were seen on our land and shot.I feel sorry for the big cats the first night-as I am part Lioness […]
Posted in?!?!?
Get Things the Creepiest Way: U-Lock-It Self Storage’s Whole Unit Auction!
I broke my cherry over the weekend: I went to an IKEA for the first time ever, and I’m kind of bummed about it. Now I’m not special, I’m just like everyone else, and all I have to show for it are a couple of coir door mats. Far more exciting: the whole unit auction […]
Posted in?!?!?
The I, Anonymous Blog Quote o’ the Day!
Whoo-hoo! It’s always a great day when the I, Anonymous Blog receives an actual confession. And while this person isn’t necessarily super apologetic—at least he’s owning up to what he said. Check it: So this woman was on one of those sit-down “disability scooter” things, getting on a bus. The bus driver put down the […]
Posted in?!?!?
The I, Anonymous Blog Quote o’ the Day!
As noted earlier, VALENTINE’S DAY IS TOMORROW. And while you can find hundreds and hundreds of heartfelt reader submitted love letters in this week’s Mercury, there is also… well, “a” love note on the I, Anonymous blog. (KInd of? Sort of? Not really?) Girl, I see you. I see you word-vomiting all over the interwebs […]
Posted in?!?!?
The I, Anonymous Blog Quote o’ the Day!
Another great reason that college may be a gigantic waste of your time… Dear Portland employers: A Bachelor’s Degree requirement for a job that pays $.05 over minimum wage? Go fuck yourselves. Read the rest here, and then re-think dedicating the next four years of your life to that degree in Latin. Besides! You are […]
Posted in?!?!?
The I, Anonymous Blog Quote o’ the Day!
So this guy thinks we should cut funds to help the homeless—but only some of the homeless? WHAT? I’m not saying we need to throw the ones with genuine problems to the wolves. But we definitely need to redirect some of the General Homeless Money to actual treatment and help for addiction, victim counseling and […]
Posted inMusic
Kai, the Ax-Smashing Hitchhiking Hero: the REEEEEMIX!
I’ve already shared with you the story of Kai—the homeless hitchhiking surfer dude who “smash, smash, SUH-MASHED” a potential killer’s head in with his trusty ax—(AKA the greatest news story ever told). And while it may have taken a few days, here is the awesome autotuned REEEEEEEMIX we’ve all been waiting for, and of course? […]
Posted in?!?!?
The I, Anonymous Blog Quote o’ the Day!
For those who assume there’s no such thing as love at first sight, read the following I, Anonymous Blog submission entitled, “Beautiful Sausage Eating Woman.” To the Fancy well put together woman on the 17 bus wearing those perfect vintage cateye glasses, red wool coat and super awsome shoes. Why the fuck would you eat […]
Posted in?!?!?
The I, Anonymous Blog Quote o’ the Day!
Another day, another I, Anonymous about the evil people of the world, and… HUH?? Waitasecond… the “evil people” in this one are… the Portland Mercury?!? So, what’s so innovative about the use of words like “fuck” and “pussy”, the same tired images of women’s body parts displayed for sensational appeal, repetitious references to “dicks” and […]
Posted inNews
Hitchhiker Kills Someone with an Ax; Proclaimed a Hero (And I Agree)
Meet Kai (straight out of Dogtown!) who is the most hilarious, deadly surfer dude/hitchhiker you will ever meet. Listen to his totally insane description of taking his ax and “smash, smash, SUH-MASHing” the head of an alleged rapist who nearly went on a Jesus-fueled killing spree, and… okay, this is far too complicated to explain. […]
Posted in?!?!?
The I, Anonymous Blog Quote o’ the Day!
Oh, the perils of TWITTER. My previously loved Asian joint: I made the mistake of following you on twitter. This seemed necessary as you love to close randomly. I thought this would be a good way to keep up with your specials and figure out if you felt like being open on any given day. […]