Today in doomed relationships: I wish that we had never become this close of friends and it kills me that you are such a pig sometimes. But, when I see you smile and the little twinkle in your chocolate colored eyes, I just lose it. Why can no other guy make me feel as happy […]
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The I, Anonymous Blog Quote o’ the Day!
Dear comedy hecklers: HECKLE BETTER!! When you’re louder than the comedian on stage, and then shoulder tapped in a very polite way to shut the fuck up, and you don’t, of course the comedian is going to lose patience because your “shut the fuck up” didn’t happen. Who the fuck heckles and then walks up […]
Posted inPolitics
I Guess We Should Be Grateful He Didn’t Use the Word “Orientals”
Media Matters noticed that Bill O’Reilly decided he had a lot to say about Asian-Americans yesterday. Here’s video: The money shot is this: “…Asian people are not liberal, you know, by nature. They’re usually more industrious and hard-working.” There is so much wrong with those two sentences that I don’t even know where to begin. […]
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The I, Anonymous Blog Quote o’ the Day!
Man smokes cigarette on sidewalk next to Pioneer Courthouse Square. Security guards tell man he cannot smoke cigarettes on sidewalk next to Pioneer Courthouse Square. MAN GETS MAD. I know there’s no smoking on the square. And I’m not smoking on the square. And if the sidewalk part of the square isn’t a public right […]
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The I, Anonymous Blog Quote o’ the Day!
New year’s resolution advice from one woman to another: STOP SCREWING MY HUSBAND! Have you not considered the many possible reasons my husband, your “boyfriend,” and I are not divorced? That is, other than the dishonesty he placates you with? Has he happened to mention to you how much we love each other? And how […]
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The I, Anonymous Blog Quote o’ the Day!
From what I understand, the Scottish are a jolly people… UNTIL YOU FUCK WITH THEIR PUCKS. Real rad stuff stealing those two red shuffleboard pucks from the Sandy Hut – High Class Badass you are – Ooooooh…. The pride and respect you now command from The dickwit community as they nod their repectful dues at […]
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Who Else Is Going to Miss This Guy?
Loving you with its cold dead eyes. Maybe because I keep torturing my friend with this ad, but I’m going to miss this li’l guy in our Blogtown advertising barrage for the Saturday Market‘s last-minute shopping event. He keeps popping up every time I look at our website. Look at that thing!! What a horrific […]
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The I, Anonymous Blog Quote o’ the Day!
Oh, there’s no place like home for the holidays… OR IS THERE? It aches me to say this especially during the holidays, but although I love my family, I greatly dislike them. Here I am visiting them for a couple of weeks, and I already want to go home after a few days. I cannot […]
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The I, Anonymous Blog Quote o’ the Day!
Today we feature a person who is happy to get a paycheck, but… waitasecond! He has to work with PEOPLE?!? He didn’t sign up for this! To the two fucks who insist on clipping your fingernails in your cubicles: I hate you both even I am friendly enough. Who waits until they get to work […]
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“What’s Going On in Your Underpants, Hump?”
People from our comments section have questions for me… I try to answer them. Today commenter EinsteinStupid asks, “What’s going on inside your underpants, Hump?” GOOD QUESTION. I am intrigued by the science of microbiology, so the moment I received this question, I ran down to the science store, picked up a microscope, and shoved […]
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The I, Anonymous Blog Quote o’ the Day
What this person said: Today, like any other day, I woke up to my stupid ass iPhone alarm. 5 a.m. Put my Carhartts on and headed to work. Normal day. Thought about the errands I have to run when I get off; DEQ, change the headlight in my car, maybe go out with some friends. […]
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The I, Anonymous Blog Quote o’ the Day!
A legitimate I, Anonymous submission, or an exceedingly cunning stealth ad from Cricket? YOU BE THE JUDGE! I still love you, yes. But, when I grab my phone to check my messages, it’s fucking Cricket AGAIN with another offer of saving money, upgrading my phone or whatever. Every morning, I fall for it, perhaps because […]