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People deal with rude people in different ways. For example, in this I, Anonymous submission, a lady scolds the writer for pouring coffee into the garbage hole on the counter—which actually really is in bad taste. You (semi hot brunette, office slavedriver attire) and I arrived at the little creamer and sugar table at the […]

Wow. Okay, I had no idea that “slow walking lesbians with a baby” were a thing. But apparently they are—and they’re slowing up everything in the grocery store!! I ran across you three times during my visit, and every time you were fucking annoying! You blocked the aisle, like it was yours for the taking, […]

Again… NOT ME. But I suppose it could be. Do you people know what it took to get to where I am today? A lot of fucking ass-kissing, that’s what. I’m the boss now and apparently people don’t like it. Do I care? Not really. Listen up folks, I put in my time, I did […]

Guys! The dickhead in the following story (who was in attendance at a certain company holiday karaoke party) WAS NOT ME. You were the one who sang like every other song. You left the room and then another song of yours came on. When someone jumped in and started singing, you ran back in and […]

DRIVE FASTER!! DRIVE FASTER!! DRIVE FASTERRRRRRRRRRR!!!! While I envy whatever lifestyle you have that affords driving 5 below the speed limit, in a no-passing zone, between 8:30 & 9am on a weekday…I SWEAR TO GOD, IF YOU DO NOT GET OUT OF EVERYONE’S WAY I WILL BURN YOUR HOUSE DOWN AND EAT YOUR CHILDREN. DRIVE!! […]

Here’s an ethical conundrum: Is it okay to reserve a table in a coffee shop before jumping in line? NOT ACCORDING TO THIS GUY! When you walk into a coffee shop and see a line, do you cut in front of everyone and go to the front of the line to order? No? Well guess […]

So this guy gets a new (hot) study pal named “Angela”—and things go from good to great to I really wish he hadn’t shared this with us. A week later, we went to her apartment to study and after we finished, “Angela” gave me a hug, then we started to make out. I tried to […]

Here’s someone that thinks the “No Soliciting” sign on my door shouldn’t apply to him: I am a door-to-door canvasser who works full-time for a non-profit organization. I noticed that you have a “No Soliciting” sign posted, so even though I am not selling anything and am actually working on behalf of the public interest, […]

Got any Thanksgiving Day/Black Friday complaints or confessions? We want to read about them on the I, Anonymous Blog—just remember to delete the names of the guilty (your drunk Aunt Wanda) and the innocent (no one is innocent). In the meantime, here’s a person who doesn’t like the way you buy eggs: You people shopping […]

Today in impatient white people problems: Yes, Dick Head, there are other people waiting to fill their cup at the drink fountain. Did you notice? Not likely since you’re so fucking focused on tapping the dispenser over and over to max out your cup. What is it with rude idiots like you, who never seem […]

GUYS!! Somebody’s killing squirrels!! From my back porch I can see you two a few houses down. Putting peanuts on the road around rush time. The squirrels get pegged off, you shovel them into a bucket and then dissapear. What the hell are you two doing with all those dead squirrels? SERIAL SQUIRREL KILLER!!! If […]