God! Isn’t Oregon, like, the worst?? I never met so many bigots and idiots until I moved to Oregon and I have lived in Florida, South Africa home of apartheid, and Simi Valley. I have played in Seattle, Everett, Hoquiam, Olympia, Snohomish, Longview, Renton Kent, Santa Ana, Boise, Yakima, PDX, Medford, Eugene, Grants Pass, Tigard, […]
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The I, Anonymous Blog Quote o’ the Day!
It’s a real “Dog Day Afternoon” on the I, Anonymous Blog DO YOU GET IT??? DO YOU GET WHAT I’M TRYING TO AHA-HA-HA-HAAAAAAAAA!! Fuck it. Never mind. 1) Hi dog lovers and animal fans. If you see me walking my dog and you think she’s pretty do not immediately come up to us, kneel down, […]
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Ain’t No Party, Like a Perfect Sushi Roll Party
Behold the commercial for the Leifheit “Perfect Roll”—a great way to make perfect sushi every time and host the WEIRDEST, CRACKED-OUT PARTY EVER ATTENDED. Make sure you play this exact music, or else the party’s ruined. via
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The I, Anonymous Blog Quote o’ the Day!
Oh, I love it when an I, Anonymous Blog submission is so, so, so, so, SO right the fuck on. Women, I love you. We all love you. Which is why we forgave you when the Roman sandals trend returned this year, but for crying out loud you’re also repeating last year’s disaster of the […]
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The I, Anonymous Blog Quote o’ the Day!
I never question the worthiness of the I, Anonymous Blog—it’s a great place to blow off steam and serves as a troll trap to keep horrible commenters away from the rest of the world—DAMN IT! Did I just say that out loud? Anyway, while I get a kick out of most of the I, A […]
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Alien Suicide!
(And NO, that’s NOT the name of my ’90s pop punk band.) Check out this news footage of a supposed UFO flying around Mexico’s Popocatepetl volcano. I admit my Spanish is TERRIBLE, but I think this news report is about aliens who come to earth to commit suicide in our volcanoes. HEY ALIENS! Sorry your […]
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Arrested Development Mystery # 3,491: Portia’s Face
Here’s one for the Blogtown Crime Cracker Club! Obviously everyone who has been watching the new season of Arrested Development has noticed something… ummm… different(?) about Lindsay’s (Portia de Rossi) face. CLUE ONE: Before and After Pics! BEFORE… …AFTER! BUT CLUE TWO: This! According to E! Online. “She’s absolutely not had plastic surgery,” a source […]
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The I, Anonymous Blog Quote o’ the Day!
While this is directed at a particular Starbucks customer, it applies to EVERYONE. Dear Starbucks Regular Customer,You are such a beautiful, sweet and warm person. I really enjoy interacting with you. However, I am so distracted by the toxic, burning, nauseating scent that you wear, that it causes me to hold my breath, thus cutting […]
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The I, Anonymous Blog Quote o’ the Day!
Remember last summer when every I, Anonymous Blog post was about a car driver being angry at a bicyclist? OH, HOW THE WORM HAS TURNED… This is for every walker, runner, wandering wino or whoever else I stumble a pond who’s right in the middle of the bike lane or road. Get out, GET OUT […]
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The I, Anonymous Blog Quote o’ the Day!
I do adore karaoke complaints… and here’s a karaoke complaint! I perform Karaoke in costume and in character. If you have not seen me at your bars karaoke night-you will. I am not the drunken douchbag hogging the mic with an eight minute rendition of Bohemian Rhapsody (hey, KJ’s-could you take every song over 5 […]
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The I, Anonymous Blog Quote o’ the Day!
UH-OH. I get that people go right on a red, but it doesn’t mean I have to. And trust me when I say that his reasoning has nothing to do with traffic etiquette or public safety. Do you have an absolutely terrible reason for not turning right on red, or in absence of that, a […]
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The I, Anonymous Blog Quote o’ the Day!
We don’t get many “thanks!” submissions on the I, Anonymous Blog—but here’s one, and it’s especially worthy: To the three people who yelled “Hey, Catch!” and threw an unopened penis pump our way…my buddy and I thought it was hilarious. We were next to Sheridans so you may have come from Taboo (?) Either way […]