There’s a lot going on in this I, Anonymous Blog submission. I cringed when you got on my bus on Hawthorne, because you’re the worst thing in Portland after getting rape-blown by a crackhead. White leather cowboy boots, skinny black jeans and a wife beater, douchey bead necklace, and a wispy mustache only a high […]
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Happy (Early) Birthday, America! You Made This! I LOVE YOU!
The United States of America, where you can play all the air instruments you’ve ever dreamed of! And Ann-Margret hoofs around in all her glory! H/T to Julie at WORK
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The I, Anonymous Blog Quote o’ the Day!
What’s the date again? July 2nd? OHHHH, then this I, Anonymous submission is right on time. Hey, brainstem. I don’t know why you’re even awake at 3:40 in the morning lighting off firecrackers, I’m guessing either you’re some punk brat on summer break, or some piece of human excrement on meth. Maybe both. Regardless, it […]
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The I, Anonymous Blog Quote o’ the Day!
As repeatedly mentioned, there is currently a two-month moratorium on all “I hate bicyclists, and wish they would get leukemia and DIE!!” posts on the I, Anonymous Blog. HOWEVER. Maybe not everyone has seen that announcement, therefore I gave today’s anonymous submitter a break, and published his/her post—with a little revising from yours truly. Here’s […]
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The I, Anonymous Blog Quote o’ the Day!
Okay, so this isn’t so much of a “quote” as it is a “request.” Look, I know I may have alienated some of you who regularly submit to the I, Anonymous Blog because I put a two-month moratorium on all “I hate you bicyclists so much!” posts. HOWEVER! I did not put a moratorium on […]
Posted inReligion
Time for Vacation Bible School! (Maybe Not This One, Though.)
When I was a kid, we didn’t have those fancy-pantsy summer camp programs all the kids enjoy today. We had three choices for how to spend our three months of vacation:1) Riding bikes and throwing dirt clods.2) Watching cartoons and buying comic books.3) Going to Vacation Bible School.And while going to Vacation Bible School was […]
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The I, Anonymous Blog Quote o’ the Day!
OMG! And just when you think the people who submit to the I, Anonymous Blog couldn’t get any more moronic, along comes this idiot with a post titled “A Note from I, Anonymous Management”: NOTE TO I, ANONYMOUS SUBMITTERS! YOUR POINT ABOUT BICYCLISTS BEING COMPLETE THOUGHTLESS JERKS HAS BEEN MADE—TO AN INCREDIBLE DEGREE. THEREFORE IN […]
Posted inMedia
High-Speed Chase Leads Suspect to Finally Admit He Has Swag…
… and wonders aloud (as we all do), “What is drugs?” Also: “Cuff ’em and stuff ’em!” (There is so much joy to be had in this 40 second clip.)
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The I, Anonymous Blog Quote o’ the Day!
Did you have fun at Saturday’s Naked Bike Ride? Then this I, Anonymous might be for you! Dear friend, who keeps on smugly reminding me how much fun you had at the naked bike ride. Please stop asking me why I didn’t go. First of all you live less than 3 miles from work yet […]
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The I, Anonymous Blog Quote o’ the Day!
Here’s an I, Anonymous tip from your local restaurant worker. As much as I appreciate your business…I wish that just once you would leave with the food you just consumed still in you. Or at the very least put forth a little more effort wiping the toilet down after you ram your fucking finger down […]
Posted inPortland
Today in Portland “Turf Blisters”
According to this video’s YouTube page, Portland’s Urban Garden Supply discovered this “turf blister” behind their store—which acts super freaky when you step on it. And if you’re thinking what I was thinking, don’t bother. It already popped. 🙁
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The I, Anonymous Blog Quote o’ the Day! (Featuring Carly Rae Jepsen)
Now. This guy just might be crazy… but! Yep, he’s crazy. Then I think I catched a glimpse of somebody who looked like you by the Willamette River. From my early days of lazy Late Night Tv Watching to the High School plays and then in the Willamette. It’s somehow crazy but it seems like […]