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Hey crybaby men! Stop being such crybabies! See, going through life as a poor hygiene practicing crybaby that drinks too much and blames your lack of focus and ambition on your ADHD or whatever other fake ailment you claim to have is not attractive. I have never seen more grown-man crying in public than in […]

Parents of Portland? Curb your child! I was in Buchman park today when I saw it. You yelling for your child to hurry up, her yelling back she was almost finished…..Finished doing what you might ask; Taking a steaming Duke right in the middle of the soccer field. Ok kids will be kids and we […]

Is calling someone a “cocksucker” a homophobic remark? LET’S FIND OUT! I dunno what I did to offend you, but yelling “cocksucker” at me is pretty fucking stupid. We’re in SE Portland in 2012. You ride a fixed speed bike with a long beard and cycling cap, so I assume you’re not a RNC delegate, […]

Here’s a submission from a person who’s not bitter. AT ALL. I have had it with you, Portland women. Everywhere I have been in this country the females are better looking and ten times more friendly and approachable. You all seem to be so caught up in being Queen of the Average Looking that you […]

Life for this person was perfect, until suddenly… IT WASN’T. I used to get coffee at my work’s lobby cafe every day – but the people are rude and they charge $4.75 for a 12oz mocha. Absolute bullshit. I decided to try out the AM/PM by my bus stop. I LOVED IT! Coffee’s like $2 […]

Another day, another submission to the I, Anonymous Blo… wait. WHAT STINKS?!? Please Portlanders, take a shower. I work with the public and I have to say a large number of you need to clean up. You just plain stink. And if you’d like to read much more detail about how you stink, take a […]

First, this guy said this: I’m so tired of this overly-patient, need-to-discuss-everything-with-your-child type of parenting I see all around Portland. Then this guy said this: Going out with my kid in Portland is like walking into a lion’s den. 20-something hipsters who have the world figured out with their over-sized, non-prescription glasses and mismatched clothes […]

OMG! This I, Anonymous submission is from someone who lives in… wait for it… VANCOUVER! Ahahahahahaa!!! And not the pretty Vancouver, either! The gross one! Listen… Yeah, I know…Vancouver. It’s that little Podunk north bank town that sorta cramps your eccentric, progressive Portland style. On this side of the Columbia, we are inbred, naive slack-jaws […]