THURSDAY, APRIL 12
8:30 NBC THE OFFICE
Andy returns after taking anger management classes, and applies for the manager position of the anger department.
9:30 NBC ANDY BARKER, P.I.
Season finale! Barker tries to stop a murderer while looking for a kid's stuffed bunny.
FRIDAY, APRIL 13
10:00 SCIFI PAINKILLER JANE
Debut! A hotsy-totsy super spy hunts down genetically altered humans in this new show based on the comic.
SATURDAY, APRIL 14
8:00 ESPN2 HOT DOG EATING CHAMPIONSHIP MARATHON
Three-and-a-half hours of contestants cramming hot dogs down their gullets. Bring the Maalox!
9:00 E! SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE
The classic, butt-cringing episode where Ashlee Simpson gets caught lip-synching and responds with a hoedown.
SUNDAY, APRIL 15
8:00 FOX DRIVE
Debut! Drivers make a mad dash across the country when they realize it's tax return day.
11:30 VH1 THE SPRINGER HUSTLE
Debut! A new reality show about what happens behind the scenes on The Jerry Springer Show.
MONDAY, APRIL 16
8:00 ABC DANCING WITH THE STARS
The contestants cry foul when Heather Mills performs the samba with a leg borrowed from RoboCop.
9:00 FX 24
It's yet another national crisis when President Wayne Palmer realizes he's not a very believable president.
TUESDAY, APRIL 17
8:00 FOX AMERICAN IDOL
Country music star Martina McBride teaches the kids how to be moonshine-drinkin' hillbillies.
10:00 FX THE SHIELD
Vic closes in on Lem's killer, which makes Shane uncomfortable. Because... he's like, Lem's killer.
WEDNESDAY, APRIL 18
10:00 BRAVO SHEAR GENIUS
Yet another occupational competition show, this time involving hair stylists. What about the sewer workers??
10:00 ABC LOST
After Kate sees Jack smooching Juliet, she turns to Sawyer for some sloppy seconds.