Via the Hollywood Reporter, a letter from Jane Pitt—mother of Brad, “a Christian,” and a strong supporter of Mitt Romney: Any Christian should spend much time in prayer before refusing to vote for a family man with high morals, business experience, who is against abortion, and shares Christian conviction concerning homosexuality just because he is […]
Gossip
“Katie Holmes ‘Biggest Nightmare’ in Scientology History, Say Experts”
That’s the headline of a Hollywood Reporter story that is packed with remarkable chunks of text. Here are some of my favorites: Holmes appears more aggressive and fearless than those who have taken steps to distance themselves from the church or have “blown” — Scientology parlance for leaving the church — according to one-time key […]
Good Morning, Alec Baldwin News!
Alec Baldwin weds his 28-year-old yoga instructor girlfriend on Sunday. After tweeting pics of his wedding bands, Alec Baldwin quits Twitter FOREVER—for the second time. In his new Vanity Fair interview, Alec Baldwin says that at one time he wanted to do this to TMZ founder Harvey Levin: I wanted to stick a knife in […]
Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes: SPLITZO!
According to TMZ and multiple sources, Katie Holmes has filed for divorce from Tom Cruise—AND has asked for sole custody of their child Suri. From TMZ: We’re told Tom “did not see this coming.” We’re told there is some “nastiness” here, evidenced by Katie’s move to get sole legal custody. “NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” POLL TIME!
Rare Sighting of a Terrence Malick in His Natural Habitat
Via Vulture comes revelation that, while harassing Benicio del Toro, TMZ accidentally got some footage of Terrence Malick, the most elusive filmmaker in the world. (TMZ either didn’t recognize Malick or just didn’t care.) One of the best filmmakers ever repeatedly tries to shuffle away from TMZ’s obnoxious cameraman starting at about 3:15, in a […]
Today in Awesome Squandering
According to US Weekly, the Bristol Palin-impregnating Levi Johnston is penniless and living with his mom—which is nothing but sad until you get to this sentence: “Levi made more than $1 million and squandered it on guns, boats and four-wheelers,” the source says of Playgirl’s winter 2010 cover model, 22. Poor sad Levi Johnston, living […]
Mitt Romney Suddenly Plagued by Rumors of Public Masturbation
Check out the comments on this Mitt Romney video’s YouTube page, which are all about rumors of Mitt Romney masturbating on a Connecticut hotel balcony. Does public masturbation make you feel like more of a man you sick son of a bitch? masturbating on a hotel balcony? absolutely disgusting. this is what we do not […]
The 2012 Job Rankings: Your Wednesday Depressive
The 2012 job rankings by CareerCast are out, ranking the top 200 hundred jobs based on a rather complex methodology balancing work “Environment, Income, Outlook, Stress and Physical Demands.” The good news and bad news is the same: There is no perfect job, and even those ranked in the top 10 may be rated exceptionally […]
Axl Rose and Lana Del Rey Rumored to Be Dating
SHUDDER. From the NY Daily News: The “Video Games” singer and Rose, 50, were spotted leaving the Chateau Marmont in West Hollywood together Friday, feuling speculation that the two are more than musical colleagues. Del Rey has long admired the Guns N’ Roses singer, and just last month, attended two back-to-back shows in L.A. to […]
Just Letting You Know I Haven’t Been Fired.
Dear Internet friends, It’s been great. I think you’re swell. However, I need a little space. I’m going to be taking off from the Mercury for three months to work on a book about relationships. Whenever I look for relationship advice, wandering distraught and slightly drunk through Powell’s Red Room on a Friday night, I’m […]
Madonna Throws M.I.A. Under the Bus
Remember this year’s Super Bowl halftime show? (God, it already feels like years ago.) And remember when M.I.A. kind of flipped you the bird? And remember how everyone lost their shit about it? UPDATE TIME! So it may come to pass that if any fines are levied by the FCC, it very well could be […]
BREAKING: Witch Returns to Claim Beyoncé’s Baby
This just in from ONN: Beyoncé’s newborn baby has been taken by a witch who claims the infant was promised to her in exchange for the star’s good looks and beautiful singing voice. ONN entertainment reporter Angelique Clark has the details: BREAKING: Witch Who Granted Beyoncé Fame Returns To Claim Firstborn Child More details as […]
