New Year’s Eve is a stellar night for a prix fixe dinner, so grab your favorite dining companion and pad your stomachs for a long night filled with champagne. Half of the restaurants around town are offering incredible menus for relatively reasonable prices, while activities for the after-hours abound. Here’s a few highly recommended things […]
Holiday
Posted inThe Apocalypse
How Was 2012?: A Legally Binding Blogtown Poll
OKAY. You’ve had more than enough time to think about this… and now it’s time to answer this question once and for all. UPDATE: Apparently 2012 didn’t want to be voted on, because my poll broke. We’ll try again tomorrow! Eff YOU, 2012!
Posted inHoliday
From All of Us, to All of You
Here’s hoping you and yours have the bestest of holiday seasons.Love always,Yer besties at the Mercury
Posted in$$$
I Only Shop Where the Spice Girls Shop
Still doing your last minute shopping? Shop where the Spice Girls shop… at Tesco! (Waaaaaitasecond… I think this may be in England. QUICK! TO THE AIRPORT!!)
Posted inMusic
“Baby, It’s Cold Outside”: The Animated Adventures
One of my fave holiday songs is also one of the most controversial—“Baby, It’s Cold Outside” by Frank Loesser. First featured in the 1949 movie Neptune’s Daughter, it tells the story of a Romeo trying to convince his coy gal to stay the night by reminding her of the heavy snow, the biting winds, and […]
Posted inMedia
THIS SANTA IS A GODDAMNED FAKE!!!
Fox News continues their extremely important and oh-so-necessary coverage of the “War on Christmas™”—because, you know, everybody hates Christmas so much they want to fire Scud missiles at it—with this interview of “Santa Claus,” which I’m putting in quotes because he’s a goddamn FAKE!!! The real Santa would never, ever, EVER lower himself to either […]
Posted inHoliday
Which is the WORST Xmas Song by Someone Who Should Know Better?: A Legally Binding Blogtown Poll
Last year, the residents of Blogtown named the best Xmas song evarrrrrr. (The winner was “Heat Miser” from Year Without a Santa Claus? What are you people? 4chan?) And now you get to vote on the WORST. After the jump, I’ll embed the videos for TEN of what I consider to be the worst holiday […]
Posted inHoliday
The Unfuckwithable Rules of White Elephant Gift Exchanges
Here is an email I sent to everyone here at the Mercury this afternoon. You may adapt the following rules to your own office White Elephant Gift Exchanges—but I would advise against it. As they stand, they are unfuckwithable.
Posted inSex
The Sexiest (and Most Festive) Funeral Parlor in Guatemala!
Damn you, Guatemala! Once again you’ve cornered the market on funeral parlors that feature sexy Santas playing dead in coffins. WAITASECOND. What exactly are these people selling?!?
Posted inFashion
White People Gifts: “Christmas Sweats”
Unsure of what to get that white person on your list? How about “Christmas Sweats”? Here are Rhett & Link, spokespersons for the ASPCA (American Sweat Pants Christmas Association) and two unknown white girls. OH! There are Hannukah and Kwanzaa sweats too—because you know, boo racism.
Posted inDrunk
Drunk Santas: CONDEMN OR ALLOW?!?
SantaCon (in which people dress up as Santa and roam from bar to bar getting shit-pantsed drunk) is a raucous, inebriated celebration in many cities—especially Portland (continuing this Saturday, Dec 15 as well as Dec 22). HOWEVER! The backlash has begun, at least in NYC, where Gothamist is waging a war against this vomity holiday […]
Posted inHoliday
Poinsettias: CONDEMN OR ALLOW?!?
You know what, folks? I DON’T LIKE ‘EM. Poinsettias don’t look “real” to me, they’re kind of ostentatiously ugly, and their name is hard to spell and reminds me of poison. Why is this the official holiday plant? FUCK A POINSETTIA. But how do you feel?