Good day.
PANIC!
Posted inReligion
Why Pat Robertson Knows a Thing or Two about Gay Abomination
Apparently televangelist Pat Robertson is eating an entire case of sour grapes this week because NYC gave the “gay okay” to same sex marriages. HOWEVER! I must admit I learned A LOT about gay abomination from this old man’s illogical rant. For example, I did not know that… 1) Gays are angel rapers! (I’m with […]
Posted inGirls Only!
MailBagSlutGate Part Deux: The Husband Speaks!
Everyone remember this from yesterday? Okay. Well, unfortunately, when I tried to respond, I discovered that my new lady-penpal had blocked me on the Facebook (accidentally, I’m sure!) so that I could not write her back. So all of your wonderful suggestions were for nought. Frowny-face. Fortunately, this lady’s lucky, lucky husband was still my […]
Posted inEthics
Help Me Answer My Mail!
It’s time for the Lindy West Mailbag Fun-Show! This just in: I don’t know either of these people. But apparently this nice woman’s husband is a fan of my work and added me as a friend on Facebook. How slutty of me!!!! So….how should I respond?
Posted inOh, You Kids!
Today in Those Terrible Teens: “Tag… YOU’RE DEAD!!”
The parents and old people of Beaverton have something new to panic about: Out-of-school teens playing “Fugitive: An Extreme Game of Tag!” The game is played late at night, and something like this: There are runners, drivers and chasers. The runners run through the darkened streets, while being pursued by drivers and chasers (in the […]
Posted inCats
The Bubonic Plague Hits Oregon… CAT!
Cat people! Holy shit and look out: A cat in our state has been diagnosed with the Bubonic Plague!! Should you need a refresher: “The plague used to be known as The Black Death. It traveled through Europe during the 13-hundreds and killed an estimated 50 percent of the population.” Yes, that’s the one. And […]
Posted in?!?!?
BlytheCon Cometh
Have you heard of Blythe dolls? You know, Blythe dolls: Zoe Favole Think they’re creepy? Did you know they have a string on the back of their heads that you can pull to change their eye color? The Blythe community is coming to Portland, which is the site of BlytheCon 2011, a worldwide convention of […]
Posted inSports
Ouch! (Also: Is Lying on the Ground Really the Best Way to Avoid Bees, Guys?)
Via Deadspin, an entire Brazilian semi-pro soccer match—that’s all the players on both teams, minus one impervious dude—taken down by a swarm of bees. Speaking of BEES!!! Find out more about them in this informative article in this week’s Mercury. BEES!!!
Posted inPANIC!
“Macho Man” Randy Savage, R.I.P.
Sad news to report for fans of wrestling, snappin’ into Slim Jims, or this song—”Macho Man” Randy Savage has passed away at the age of 58. TMZ is reporting that the former minor league baseball player turned WWF superstar (and crazed pitchman for dried beef and spice products) was killed in an automobile accident that […]
Posted inReligion
I Fucking Hope the Rapture Happens on Saturday
Could you imagine if the Rapture really happened on Saturday and all those evangelicals got sucked to to the sky and left the earth to us? What kind of a world would we who are left behind experience? Who would try to ban books in libraries? Who would make idiotic “challenges” to evolution and otherwise […]
Posted inReligion
The End is Nigh… Which Means “Saturday,” Guys!
So I’m here in my new office, and people keep coming by asking me why I haven’t unpacked anything, or dressed my child mannequins yet… Ummm… because of THIS, dingalings! Judgment Day is set to go down THIS SATURDAY at 3 pm pacific, and it’s GUARANTEED (at least according to the Bible, and the Family […]
Posted inPolitics
Caption This Photo
There are other, much more incriminating photos… …but now that he’s not running for president, eh, nothing to be gained by releasing ’em. This one could use a caption though. Let me beat some of the trolls to this one: “The Worst of Both Worlds.” Anyone got a better one? And, gee, my wrist looks […]