Indulge us again, won’t you, in the confusing circumstances of the small, unmarked, and unkempt property on SW Barbur where the city stores valuables confiscated from homeless campers. Yesterday, we asked Portland Fire & Rescue about the Portland Water Bureau-owned property, and were told something surprising: there were no records of this squat, 64-year-old pump […]
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I, Anonymous: “Battle Me”
Kalah Allen I began to study combat after my now ex-boyfriend didn’t even attempt to defend me during a conflict, which was the impetus for my realization that men are not inherently strong or brave—a naive belief I take responsibility for. I continued my study, inspired by a stalker who harasses me in the name […]
Posted inComedy
Tig Notaro’s Medical Saga Continues, But No Show Cancellations Announced for Portland
If you’ve been following what’s going on with Tig Notaro, you know the comedian has had a crazy couple of days. It started with her New York show on Thursday, where she performed for 30 minutes without a shirt on, thus exposing her double mastectomy scars and blowing up the Internet. Then she was hospitalized […]
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The I, Anonymous Blog Quote o’ the Day!
This I, Anonymous post, “Savage Love Was Closed for Repairs,” gets a little graphic: Every time I do cocaine at home alone, I have to masturbate. It’s this insatiable urge I get when that euphoric feeling hits me, but it’s only when I’m alone. More than that, I tend to feel the need to stick […]
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The I, Anonymous Blog Quote o’ the Day!
The dog stars are aligning over on the I, Anonymous Blog. From “Keep Your Mean Dogs off Public Transportation“: Not too long ago, I was on the streetcar when a woman and her pitbull entered the car. the dog promptly grabbed another passenger’s Pomeranian by the head and killed it. But look what happens to […]
Posted inGirls Only!
Someone is Putting Up Posters Protesting This Year’s All Jane No Dick Comedy Festival
Everyone I know right now is counting down the days to All Jane No Dick, our wondrous celebration of women in comedy, so at least three people have emailed me today about this poster: Stacey Hallal/All Jane No Dick It’s a doctored version of All Jane’s promotional poster, the original text replaced with what looks […]
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The I, Anonymous Blog Quote o’ the Day!
Shhhhhh! Listen to what this anonymous PSU student has to say: Here at PSU we have one comfortable area in the entire library and if you want quiet you must go to the claustrophobic and stale quiet floors where you’ll isolate yourself in a corner on some stiff piece of wood. I’m trying to find […]
Posted inBooks
David Cronenberg’s Debut Novel Exists and Sounds Insane
Scribner Cannibalism. David Cronenberg (yes, that one) is breaking into fiction! His debut novel, Consumed, is out now from Scribner. I have nothing clever to say about that, because I guess life takes us to unexpected places, except I’m glad it’s not another poetry collection by James Franco. Here’s the wacky synopsis from an, uh, […]
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I, Anonymous Quote o’ the Day: Portland Figured Out!
Yay! A person who claims he’s “figured Portland out.” Sometime in the mid-2000s, various groups of people who couldn’t make it elsewhere moved in. Now, these people are in social positions of power. Tone deaf DJs, comics without jokes, dancers who can’t dance etc. “This tastes like shit, why are you a cook?” “Because that […]
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The I, Anonymous Blog Quote o’ the Day
And now a public service announcement from the “Share the Sidewalk, Asshole!” foundation: Picture it, Portland 2014: I’m walking down the sidewalk on a slightly rainy day when I happen to make eye contact with an ardent lunchtime power walker, umbrella in hand, headphones in ears, sneakers and business casual get up, the whole nine… […]
Posted inFood and Drink
8 Hot Dogs: View an Achievement for the Ages
Hey, everybody, remember when you made me participate in a hot dog eating competition? I already wrote a bunch of delightful words about it, but now there’s comprehensive video proof. Since I was competing next to two gents from the Big Eaters Club, I’m featured fairly prominently in the group’s footage of the event (green […]
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The I, Anonymous Blog Quote o’ the Day
Okay… which one of you b-holes called the police on this terrible street singer? To the assholes who called the cops on me last night, fuck you. There I was sitting outside an ice cream shop playing my guitar and the popo roll up to tell me to stop. I’m homeless and just trying to […]