{{image:1, align:left, width:150}} “Absolutely. Once I learned the president tried to coerce Ukraine’s leader for personal gain, I realized he not only broke the law, but had shaken America’s faith in democracy.” —Toby R. Sorenson, Southeast Portland {{image:4, align:right, width:150}} “Oh, really, Toby? Now America’s faith in democracy is ‘shaken’? Thanks for the breaking news, […]
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Posted inComedy
Wm. Steven Humphrey’s Adventures in Newspapering: Working for Me Is Like…
Waitasecond… what’s this? A letter from a reader! “Dear Wm. Steven Humphrey: What’s it like working for Wm. Steven Humphrey? Sincerely, Trevor.” Thanks for writing, Trevor! As Wm. Steven Humphrey, I can honestly attest that working for Wm. Steven Humphrey is frikkin’ AHHHH-MAYYYY-ZING. But I have a feeling you’re actually more interested in what other […]
Posted inComedy
New Column: Another White Guy Drops Out of 2020 Democratic Presidential Race
KANSAS CITY, Mo. (AP)—After four months of campaigning, Democratic presidential candidate Another White Guy announced on Friday that he’s dropping out of the race, after failing to gain traction in a crowded field of competitors—many of whom were also white and guys. “To those who put their faith and trust in Another White Guy,” Another […]
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The 15 Best Ways to Make a Difference in Portland this Week: September 26-October 9
Butches & Mental Health: Queer Storytelling, Kitten Yoga, and Our House Dinner Series
Resistance events for the week of September 26-October 9
Posted inComedy
This Too Shall Pass: UFOs, Vampires, and People Who French Kiss Weird
Hi! There is a lot to cover this week so I’m going to be efficient with all of our time and make this introductory paragraph short so that we can get straight to the garbage. Let’s go! Trash President Now, there are a lot of ways that Trump—who, let’s not forget, lost the popular vote […]
Posted inComedy
This Too Shall Pass: Of ScarJo and the Undersea Garden
Hello, friends, and welcome back to page five of the Portland Mercury! I’m emotionally hungover this week from having worked as an extra on Shrill last week. Why? Because I stood behind the glorious Aidy Bryant for approximately 15 hours and I think some of her sunshine ebullience rubbed off on me, and because I […]
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The 16 Best Ways to Make a Difference in Portland this Week: September 12-25
Portland Joins Global Climate Strike, a Reparations Workshop, and a Youth Drag Show for Marrow PDX
Resistance events for the week of September 12-25
Posted inComedy
Wm. Steven Humphrey’s Adventures in Newspapering: How Email Works
I’ll admit it: I need to be educated! And lucky me, being the editor-in-chief of the Portland Mercury means that I get an education every goddamn day, whether I like it or not. Example: Today I finally had to admit I know next to nothing about Brexit—so I spent some time educating myself on the […]
Posted inComedy
One Hulk’s Opinion: Hulk SMASH Puny Jay Inslee!
ARGHHHH!!! Hulk FURIOUS!! Why? Because right after Hulk donate $17 of hard-earned Hulk money to puny Democrat president candidate Jay Inslee, puny Jay Inslee DROP OUT OF RACE! Hulk disappointed for two reasons! 1) Hulk put all Hulk eggs in puny Inslee’s basket—but when puny Inslee quits, Hulk not get eggs back?!? 2) Puny Inslee […]
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The 16 Best Ways to Make a Difference in Portland this Week: August 29-September 11
Support Black-Owned Restaurants Week, Slutwalk Portland’s Voices in Action, and Veteran Services
Resistance events for the week of August 29-September 11
Posted inComedy
Wm. Steven Humphrey’s Adventures in Newspapering: I, Megalomaniac
Before we get started on today’s lesson in newspapering and what it’s like being Wm. Steven Humphrey, I just have to share this latest tidbit of ignorance being squirted out by supporters of the far right. Here’s a Facebook comment left by Nathan in response to our article about the recent Proud Boy protest circle […]
Posted inComedy
This Too Shall Pass: America Needs Miley Cyrus Bangers
Hello! If you’ve read anything about Portland from the national media in the last two weeks, you’d think I’m writing this while cowering in an overturned dumpster to avoid a citywide brawl between hordes of masked vigilantes wielding hammers and shields. But since you’re here, you know I’m writing this from a phenomenally clean coffee […]