Hey, how ya been? Last weekend I woke up to find out that the mass shooting that people were talking about on Twitter in the morning was different than the one they’d been discussing when I went to bed the night before. Then I had breakfast with my child, went to an exercise class in […]
columns
Posted inCalendar
The 15 Best Ways to Make a Difference in Portland this Week: August 15-28
Illamette Hip-Hop River Festival, a documentary about gentrification, and T: a Trans Dance Party
Resistance events for the week of August 15-28
Posted inComedy
Wm. Steven Humphrey’s Adventures in Newspapering: My Corporate Overlords
Hi again! How are you? Wait… let me answer that: You’re feeling curious. About ME! Why? Because I recently asked you to write in and ask personal questions about ME and the industry of newspapering. And since you’ve already sent a butt-ton of questions, let’s dive in, shall we? Kelly Robertson writes, “What does the […]
Posted incolumns
This Too Shall Pass (Trigger Warning: Explicit Cats Content)
Trigger warning: explicit Cats content.
Posted inComedy
You’re Wrong About That! (Portland Edition)
Hello. I’m Francine Colman-Gutierrez, and here are some things (about Portland) that you’re wrong about. “Transplants have ruined Portland!” Tell that to the heart surgeons at OHSU. “Swimming in the Willamette River is gross.” It is literally cleaner than your bathtub. “Portland is too crowded!” …says the unmarried bachelor who works at Under Armour and […]
Posted inNews
The 14 Best Ways to Make a Difference in Portland This Week: August 1-14
Resistance events for Thurs Aug 1-Wed Aug 14.
Posted inComedy
Wm. Steven Humphrey’s Adventures in Newspapering: Perverts ‘R’ Us
Hey team! Guess what? I’m getting some really good questions for my “Get to know Wm. Steven Humphrey” campaign! As you remember from my last column, I expressed concern that you were not showing enough interest in me as a person, so I flung open the gates, allowing you to ask me anything you want, […]
Posted inComedy
This Too Shall Pass: LOL Trump! You Suck!
Hello, and welcome back to another biweekly with yours truly, your truly beloved. I’m writing at least part of this from a doctor’s office where I’m having my back looked at because getting older is HILARIOUS. (Ask me about my insoles!) But no amount of making an unintentional “grrrahhh” sound when I try to stand […]
Posted inComedy
Two Months After Announcing Presidential Bid, Another White Guy Declares Himself the Democratic Nominee
KANSAS CITY, Mo. (AP)—In late May of 2019, Democratic candidate Another White Guy entered the presidential race, and immediately secured a top-three position in the national polls alongside fellow white guys Joe Biden and Bernie Sanders. However, in the weeks following the two Democratic debates, Another White Guy has seen his popularity slipping. This inspired […]
Posted inComedy
This Too Shall Pass: Patriotic Spitters and Other American Women Heroes
Hello, and THANK YOU for all the birthday messages sent to me telepathically last week. I sensed every last one right down to the essence of my aura. I’m thrilled to have completed another lap around the sun, but this orbit seemed even faster than the last, and frankly, I’m a bit dizzy. The passage […]
Posted inComedy
Wm. Steven Humphrey’s Adventures in Newspapering: Ask Me Anything!
It has come to my attention that most of you don’t know me very well. This is disturbing on many levels, primarily because I feel like I’m someone you should know and, more importantly, should want to know. I’ll forgo the lecture on how your willful ignorance of all things “Wm. Steven Humphrey” is yet […]
Posted inCalendar
The 13 Best Ways to Make a Difference in Portland this Week: June 20-July 3
World Refugee Day, a Volunteer Fair, and Fundraisers for Rehabilitative Incarcerated Youth Programs
Resistance events for the week of June 20-July 3