Look: I’m not in the business of telling you what to do with your life… hold on, that’s incorrect. Telling you what to do is literally my business! I literally come to work every day and publish exactly what I think you should be doing with your life! Soooo… WHY AREN’T YOU DOING IT? Example: […]
columns
Posted inCalendar
The 15 Best Ways to Make a Difference in Portland this Week: April 11-24
Remembering Chief Red Heart, City Budgeting with Jo Ann Hardesty, and a Panel on Masculinity
Resistance events for the week of April 11-24
Posted inComedy
Ask a Mansplainer!
Dear Mansplainer: Let me be very clear: I do not have a question, okay? I’m not asking you anything. I do not need your advice, nor do I need your opinion… I just want to say something, and I want you to listen. Just hear my words, and don’t respond. Take what I’m saying, put […]
Posted inCalendar
The 15 Best Ways to Make a Difference in Portland: March 28-April 10
Transgender Day of Visibility, AWP Offsites and an Alternative, and Sexual Assault Awareness Month
Resistance events for the week of March 28-April 10.
Posted inGossip
This Too Shall Pass: Class Warfare, Here… We… Come!
Hiyeee! Happy Spring! It’s been idiotically pleasant in Portland lately, and I’ve been loving exposing my milky-white legs to our closest star. Of course, this is fake spring, and it for suresies will turn crappy again until late June, because it always does, but I think the rule should be that once it gets up […]
Posted inComedy
Wm. Steven Humphrey’s Adventures in Newspapering: “Pencils”
Hi, how are you? Fine, I hope! Here at the Mercury we’ve been giggly all week about the recent debut of Shrill on Hulu! It’s based on the book by Lindy West, who got her start at our sister paper, The Stranger in Seattle, but the show is based right here in Portland, stars the […]
Posted inSports
NCAA Women’s Basketball Tourney Rolls into Portland
The column inches and server space given over to sports is, like the coverage of most everything in this madhouse we call the modern age, dominated by the achievements of male athletes. This is likely why you may not be aware that Portland will host part of this year’s NCAA Division I Women’s Basketball tournament, […]
Posted inComedy
The Party Review
Pagan Cats and Feasts
I attend an unidentified pagan celebration and bond with cats.
Posted inComedy
Fun with Anxiety: Sometimes We Do Dumb Things
If you follow this column, you know that I have anxiety. It’s not a constant in my life, but when the intrusive thoughts of OCD do decide to visit me, I can often have a series of wildly sucky months. That happened in October, and they were still overstaying their welcome in January. Finally, I […]
Posted inCalendar
The 14 Best Ways to Make a Difference in Portland this Week: March 14-27
Grout Elementary’s Plant Sale, Fatshion Spring Clothing Swap, and a Parkinson’s Awareness Month Kickoff Party
Resistance events for the week of March 14-27
Posted inComedy
Wm. Steven Humphrey’s Adventures in Newspapering: DO IT! DO IT! DOOOOOOO IIIIIIIIIIIIIT!!
Late last month, Haley Adams—who pals around with alt-right dum-dums Patriot Prayer, and fancies herself a men’s rights activist (eyeroll)—tweeted that she was very interested in establishing her own newspaper, “so that for the first time, PDX can have a press publication that isn’t vehemently slanted in favor of the militant fascist left.” (I’ll admit […]
Posted inComedy
This Too Shall Pass: The Saving Grace of Taco Bell Hot Sauce
Listen up, fives: nothing wrong with being average! As long as you’re not a Fox News contributor, or a dick to service employees, or impatient with old people who walk slowly, you’re alright in my book. How you been? Good? I’ve been okay. Thanks to daylight savings, we sprang (springed? Sprung? Sprought?) forward this week, […]