These are the comments that have had the Catholic League spitting out deranged press releases for two days. ZOMG! Dan Savage said those things about that pope that Dan Savage has said before! The same things he’s said on his podcast more than once! Things that he’s more than happy to post to his own […]
Horrors
Posted inTV
Mr. McFeely and the Terrifying Purple Panda
Even though the thoroughly enjoyable Mister Rogers’ Neighborhood is no more, his old sidekick/speedy delivery man Mr. McFeely (David Newell) is still working the kindergarten circuit. But now he’s touring with his absolutely terrifying pal, “Purple Panda” who hilariously scares the living crap out of the children in this video. In McFeely’s defense, those kids […]
Posted inHorrors
Happy Easter!
Love,The Little Girl Suffocating Inside This Easter Basket “(GASP!) I wonder if (GASP!) this is how Jesus (GASP!) felt in that (GASP!) cave.”
Posted inHorrors
Need a Job?
Portland Clowns is hiring! Good work, Portland redditors, on finding the creepiest thing on the whole internet. Seriously—click through to read the job description. Affiliated site terminatorspoof.com is also hiring: More information about this project: I really like the “terminator” movies, (“terminator 3” being my favorite movie of all time because its nonstop action, it […]
Posted inHorrors
Reminder: No Kneecaps, Please
A forceful reminder via the Forever 21 Photoshop task force to, in addition to your skin, body hair, thighs, hips, boobs, cellulite, under eye circles, neck waddle, stomach pouch, and sundry genetic inferiority, not to forget to also hate your kneecaps about yourself. Your kneecaps SUCK. Forever 21 Via.
Posted inFashion
Everything Is Terrible in Mainstream Fashion
Remember how I intimated that you might give to squirts about the debut of Fashion Star yesterday? You didn’t, nor did anyone else, and the ratings wound up in the toilet along with your similarly neglected two squirts. What did you miss? Aussie designer Nicolas suggesting that Jessica Simpson (who does know a lot about […]
Posted inMovies & TV
Not a Movie—But Might Be: Pauly Shore Missing in the Congo?
You know I don’t have a lot of faith in a story when I start with two disclaimers, and yet? Here we go. DISCLAIMER ONE: The following story comes courtesy of Senegal Press, via the even sketchier Global Associated News. DISCLAIMER TWO: This would be just like Pauly Shore to stage a stunt like this. […]
Posted inSex
Four Words You Never Wanted to Hear: Hulk Hogan Sex Tape
Blogtown consulting detective Graham passed this icky tidbit along. Thanks, Graham. 🙁 TMZ is reporting that a Hulk Hogan sex tape has emerged, and is being shopped around the major porn distribution companies. (EEEEEEEESHHH.) Hogan is not denying it—in fact, he’s saying he was “secretly filmed” and his lawyer is screaming, “We will take all […]
Posted inEthics
Okay, So I Just Dropped a Nuke on Brooklyn and I Feel Kind of Bad About It
During my daily inscrutable search of the internet, I stumbled upon the following site entitled NUKEMAP—in which you can choose a number of international cities to nuke from above (using Google Maps, of course). Naturally, I immediately chose Brooklyn, quickly picked the type of nuke I wanted to drop on it (again naturally, the “Fat […]
Posted inHorrors
GQ on Ohio’s Exotic Animal Massacre
GQ has a great article this month with the heartbreaking title “18 Tigers, 17 Lions, 8 Bears, 3 Cougars, 2 Wolves, 1 Baboon, 1 Macaque, and 1 Man Dead in Ohio,” about the Ohio man who released his private menagerie of exotic animals from their cages and then killed himself. The piece breaks down the […]
Posted inCrime
Cops Solve Creepy Beef Heart Mystery
Someone came forward and gave Portland cops a good reason why a bloody cow’s heart wound up on the doorstep of some poor homeowners over on NW Flanders the day after Valentine’s Day. It was, ah, what you call a massively embarrassing misunderstanding. The cops announced last night: A woman contacted Portland Police to report […]