The worst/best six minutes of your life. Trust me. Questions that Fatboy and I had after viewing this:1. Why is no one marveling that a pile of mashed potatoes has not only gained sentience, but given birth?2. Why does the pile of mashed potatoes own so much toilet paper?3. Why can’t this coupon queen get […]
Horrors
Posted inMusic
How I Feel About the Van Halen Reunion Tour
Look, I know it’s hard for bands to hang onto their glory days. But for the life of me, I don’t know why anyone would want to subject themselves to this. Have you seen this video of Van Halen ruining “Jump” at the Greensboro stop on their 2007 tour? Maybe you need a reminder—take a […]
Posted inMovies & TV
“What possible reason could I have for going around killing Santa Claus?”
Move over, Silent Night, Deadly Night! Here’s a fun trailer for the 1988 Brit Christmas slasher movie, Don’t Open Till Christmas, starring no one you’ve ever heard of as a psychopath who goes around brutally murdering fake Santas! Phew, luckily cult horror film star Caroline Munro (playing herself) stops by to lighten things up with […]
Posted inTV
American Horror Story Chitty-Chat Club: Season Finale!
OMG, you guys! American Horror Story is SO INSANE! And last night’s season finale was the “insane-iest”! Hit the jump for my thoughts on this episode, and be sure to add your comments to the… ummm… you know, “comments.” LET’S DO THIS! via FX “This adorable stocking cap conveniently hides my “666” birthmark.” ••• Okay, […]
Posted inMovies & TV
Hey, Look at This: A Prometheus Trailer!
So I could say something here about Ridley Scott’s long-awaited return to the Alien-verse, or how well done this trailer is, or I could just embed the thing here and tell you this: I am very, very excited to see this movie. Oh, and for comparison’s sake:
Posted inHorrors
Courtney Stodden Hates You, Xmas… EVERYTHING!!
OKAY. This is how much I hate these pictures: I’m not even going to put them on Blogtown, because they will automatically give anyone who touches this site hemorrhoids and/or genital herpes. You know all about Courtney Stodden, right? The 17-year-old child bride skank who married that gross 51-year-old actor? Well, they are the new […]
Posted inHorrors
Today In Humiliating Ways To Die…
learningdoterra.com Reese Witherspoon Model has apparently not been informed of the dangers of nasal irrigation. Hey, did you know your neti pot could be giving you a bad case of brain-eating amoebas? IT’S TRUE! Here are some other things from Whole Foods that could kill you: 1. Kool Ranch Kale Chips, if you are allergic […]
Posted inHorrors
A Moment to Reflect on North Korea’s Website
Last January, I became moderately obsessed with North Korea, thanks to this book, this graphic novel, and these photos. North Korea is both terrible and completely bizarre—in this day of hyper-connectedness, it’s hard to wrap my head around the idea that a country actually exists where millions of people have no light, not to mention […]
Posted inReligion
Christian Barbershop Quartet Best Thing Ever! (In Hell)
I just can’t imagine why all this “Christianity” stuff hasn’t caught on!
Posted inFood and Drink
LivingSocial Deal of the Day: Half Off Morbid Obesity!
I know a lot of you are trying to get a jump on both the holidays and heart disease, so check out this amazing deal going on today over at LivingSocial: Five Big Macs and five large fries HALF OFF??? Get outta my way! I gotta rush over there and get me some of those… […]
Posted inFashion
Project Runway All Stars Sneak Peek
Just when you start to get comfortable with your post-Project Runway existence (I hereby ban any more Portland designers from submit to these televised shenanigans… please?), it rears its ugly head again. Those of us who have all but completely given up on the merits of this competition may have sworn off the show, but […]
Posted in$$$
This Is What Naked, Striving, Ugly Humanity Looks Like
YouTube has a growing and phenomenal collection of Black Friday pandemonium videos from Wal-Marts all across the nation. I’ve pasted a couple of them here for your own amusement/revulsion. Until I looked a bit more closely at them, I kept thinking they were all the same video of the same redneck riot at the same […]