Maggie Gallagher, head of the National Organization for Marriage, isn’t pleased about my upcoming show on MTV: Renowned sex columnist Dan Savage, who is an openly gay man, will be taking his popular sex and relationship advice column to MTV in a show appropriately called “Savage U” where he intends to educate your college student […]
Oh, You Kids!
Posted inOh, You Kids!
Stupid, Stupid Baby: Grownups Dressed as Stupid, Stupid Babies
You may recall when I posted this video of two moronically enhanced, dipshit babies who babbled on and on for what seemed like an eternity of intense stupidness. Here’s the very funny remix version starring Michael Chiklis and Patton Oswalt, which not only helps prove how astronomically stupid babies are, but also makes me want […]
Posted inOh, You Kids!
Stupid, Stupid Baby: Everyone Hates the Yankees
It’s every parent’s worst nightmare: Your child comes out as a Yankee fan. I mean, how humiliating is that? To suddenly discover your baby is unrepentantly STUPID enough to like the fucking WORST baseball team in the world? As a parent, what do you do? You can’t abort ’em—it’s too late! I guess you just […]
Posted inOh, You Kids!
Hello, World!
If you can stand the suspense and gushing giraffe-liquids, you should watch this video of the birth of the Cincinnati Zoo’s new baby giraffe. It is pretty amazing—CLUNK, SPLASH is a hell of a way to enter the world!
Posted inOh, You Kids!
Tomorrow’s Asshole… Today!
A four-year-old knocks golf balls into a ball collector’s cart with uncanny accuracy—which yes, kind of makes him an asshole, but since I’ve done this myself on numerous occasions, he’s a funny asshole.
Posted inOh, You Kids!
Stupid, Stupid Baby: The Stairs
Another thing to despise about babies: THEY’RE TOO STUPID TO KNOW HOW TO WALK DOWN STAIRS!! Seriously, I’m supposed to take time out of MY busy day to hold their stupid chubby hand and escort them down some steps? EFF YOU, BABIES. Unless you can think of some super awesome way to get yourself down […]
Posted inMusic
It’s an “S Club 7” Reunion, Guys! …Guys?
Prepare to either shit your pants in glee, or scratch your head and say to yourself, “Who the hell is S Club 7?” Guys… There was an S Club 7 reunion in London recently! Now before you get too excited, there are no current plans for the group to get back together—BUT. You know they […]
Posted inOh, You Kids!
Stupid, Stupid Baby: Can Someone PLEASE Shut These Stupid Babies Up?!?
If there’s anything worse than one stupid baby, it’s TWO stupid babies with FOUR TIMES the amount of stupidity. In the following video, two stupid fucking babies blather on and on about whether or not “determinism is unfalsifiable.” JESUS CHRIST! How could determinism possibly be falsified? How does one go about proving something is genuinely […]
Posted inOh, You Kids!
Stupid, Stupid Baby: Baby Sings “Baby”
Well, well, well, now if this isn’t a shock: Here’s a stupid little baby doing something stupid. Check out this video of an extremely stupid baby singing… wait for it… Justin Bieber’s “Baby”! You think that’s funny, don’t you, you stupid little baby? Like you’re being all ironic and shit? I’ll have you know that […]
Posted inOh, You Kids!
Today in Parental Outrage: Abercrombie Kids’ Push-Up Bikinis
Over on Coco Perez‘s blog poll, the Abercrombie Kids (intended for consumers between the ages of seven and 14) web site selling padded push up bikini tops is getting a whopping 91% “INAPPROPRIATE” condemnation: Maybe I’m just jaded but I don’t know what else you expect from a tweeny culture in which monsters like this […]
Posted inMusic
It’s “Friday” Y’all!: Unplugged!
Just to get your weekend started off WRONG, here’s an unplugged version of Rebecca Black’s monster internet sensation “Friday” from Good Morning, America in which Rebecca has trouble remembering the words to her own stupid song, and a male viewer bails within 20 seconds—for obvious reasons. Think the original couldn’t be worse? THINK AGAIN.
Posted inMusic
Today in Exemplary Teen-Star Rebellion
It’s one of the toughest decisions a teen star can make: How to rebel against a parent who, among many other gifts and grievances, helped make you a zillionaire? Miley Cyrus is doing it right, rebelling against the father who helped build her career before publicly decrying her ruination by Satan by recording a cover […]