Watch as Texas Rep. Joe Barton apologizes to BP CEO Tony Hayward for the “tragedy” of making the company establish a relief fund. Also: this. (via @scottmoorepdx) Update 4:15 pm: Barton backpedals. “What I really meant to say…”
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Posted inEthics
Female Genital Mutilation at Cornell University
While the whole world was debating the American Academy of Pediatrics’ position on “female genital cutting”—the AAP was against it before they were for it, and now, after an outcry, they’re against it again—Alice Dreger and Ellen Feder have been raising the alarm about “medical research” currently being conducted at Cornell University. A pediatric urologist […]
Posted inDrunk
Today’s “Guess the News Story Based on the Incomprehensible and Vague Photo Illustration” Game
Hey you clever Blogtownies! Can you guess the headline of the story that accompanies the following photo illustration? Click here for the answer!
Posted inSports
Today in Instantaneous Ass-Clenching
For reasons unknown, John Travolta is seen in the following clip serenading the Australian Socceroos (cute name) soccer team with his hilariously awkward rendition of “You’re the One that I Want” from Grease. If you have anything breakable near your ass, please move it out of the way, because your cheeks are about to slam […]
Posted inFashion
Get Your $1,973 Douglas Coupland Jacket!
Today in strategies for selling clothes I did not see coming: The Roots X Douglas Coupland collection includes apparel for women/men/children, accessories, leather goods, design items, furniture, limited editions, original art and a series of pop-up stores. This is the first time Douglas Coupland has designed fashion wearables. He is best known as the internationally […]
Posted inCats
Today in KILL IT!! KILL IT DEAD!!!
GAAAHHHH! A kitten with two faces, guys! Now, before you start barraging me with comments chastising me for my cruelty against two-faced freaks, just remember one thing: THIS KITTEN IS A TWO-FACED FREAK! Instead of being double cute, it’s just double GAAAAHHH! Quick, somebody call Batkitten because Kitten Two-Face has busted out of Arkham Asylum! […]
Posted in?!?!?
Teenage Werewolves
Not to be confused with Teenwolf. First a lil’ background on the latest rebellious teen fashion: Since when was goth not enough? I found punk to pretty fulfilling, and all I had to wear was a crusty pair of shorts with some patches—no tail necessary. Now here comes the goods: “I hate you Josh, I’m […]
Posted in?!?!?
The Secret Life of Jay Williams
Our very own Jay “Distro Viking” Williams is the man, with the van, in charge of distributing our fine publication to the wet streets of Portland. But what happens inside that Mercury distro van? Evidently, some intense passenger seat WWF toy wrestling. Why does he have that ring in the van? Does he break out […]
Posted inMovies & TV
Dueling Shitty Titanic Sequels in the Works
Asylum Pictures – the studio that brought you Mega Pirhana and Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus and then wouldn’t let you return them – released the poster for their latest classic today, Titanic 2. On the 100th anniversary of the original voyage, a modern luxury liner christened “Titanic 2,” follows the path of its namesake. […]
Posted in?!?!?
What I Learned at a Yard Sale of Stolen Property
As I mentioned in the news section last week, every once in a while the state makes a few bucks by selling off a giant Salem warehouse full of seized property, unneeded police evidence and outdated government equipment. The biggest one of these government yard sales was scheduled for Saturday, June 5, so of course […]
Posted inEvents
Musester: Finally, Your Chance to Get Drunk with Moby!
Musester.com is the brainchild of Johnny Buss, the son of LA Lakers owner/bajillionaire Jerry Buss, and described in his bio as “a bon vivant—a sportsman, an artist, something of a playboy (having dated Paula Abdul and Amber Lynn), and an entrepreneur—in short, a renaissance man.” A social networking site for creative professionals, the vision is […]
Posted inFood and Drink
Coca-Cola™ Introduces 100 More Reasons to be Unhealthy
The future of soda? No thanks. Coca-Cola has begun distributing a new soda fountain machine called the Coca-Cola Freestyle. The machine features over 100 different flavors of soda and promises to provide “the ultimate soda experience.” Comes in three rad colors. I know what you are thinking: “100 choices? That doesn’t seem like much at […]