Welcome back to the ongoing Blogtown series “Worst. Night. Ever.” Every Wednesday during our weekly pitch meetings, there is one member of our editorial staff—this is almost always Patrick Alan Coleman—who blurts out an event (“Saturday July 10, support group for albino Twilight moms, bring your own puffy paint and sunscreen!”) in the hopes that […]
Worst. Night. Ever.
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Worst Night Ever: How to Attend an All Ages Foam Party (By Force) and Survive
This is not me. This is a girl awkwardly squatting in a cage on Club FX’s MySpace For my Worst. Night. Ever, you all voted that I should spend an evening at “Wet Wednesdays”, an 18+ foam party hosted by Club FX downtown. Why the blog world decided this should be my punishment for being […]
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Worst. Night. Ever. #7/8
Welcome back to the ongoing Blogtown series “Worst. Night. Ever.” Every Wednesday during our weekly pitch meetings, there is one member of our editorial staff—this is almost always Patrick Alan Coleman—who blurts out an event (“Drum circle lovers’ social mixer at Union Jack’s!”) in the hopes that we will recommend it in the paper. Instead […]
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Worst. Night. Ever. #7 (& 1/2)
What happens when you take generally grumpy and introverted writers for a local small press and plop them into frightening and unfamiliar circumstances? Magic and smiles and unicorn farts, that’s what! Or at least that’s been the lesson of the lion’s share of our “Worst. Night. Ever.” installments. And we know when it comes to […]
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Worst. Night. Ever. Voting Ends at Noon
Well, Blogtownies, you’ve narrowed it down to two options, which have been too damn close to call a winner. One option I’m generally stoked about (you have no idea how stoked) and the other I am genuinely terrified of. You have until noon to make the vote decisive. At that time, I will hit refresh […]
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Worst. Night. Ever. #7
Welcome back to BLAH BLAH BLAH… This is the part where my beloved co-workers suggest I’m the ONLY person in the office who pitches shitty events (UNTRUE, EZRA “A NIGHT WITH CHRIS KATTAN” CARAEFF)—which is supposedly the entire reason behind this self-indulgent exercise in social disparagement. The jokes on them. As we’ve discovered from most […]
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Worst Night Ever, All Night Long
Congratulations, Blogtown: I had a terrible Saturday night. You overwhelmingly voted for, and I endured, A New Day Rising, the overnight hippie rave in, um, the magickal wilderness, which turned out to be somewhere between Estacada and Molalla—hard to tell exactly where you are when after driving 10 miles into the increasingly unpopulated forest your […]
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Worst. Night. Ever. #6
Welcome back to the ongoing Blogtown series “Worst. Night. Ever.” Every Wednesday during our weekly pitch meetings, there is one member of our editorial staff—this is almost always Patrick Alan Coleman—who blurts out an event (“JUNE 19, CLOTHING-OPTIONAL TRANSFORMERS POETRY NIGHT IN VANCOUVER, $50!”) in the hopes that we will recommend it in the paper. […]
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WNE #5: Speed Dating in Battle Ground
Okay, Blogtown. I went speed dating, just like you said to. And I have to use some words to describe it, words that you won’t like hearing. Brace yourself. Speed dating was pleasant. I had some nice conversations. I really expanded my boundaries. Ha! Who wishes they had voted for the Masturbate-a-thon now? NOT PICTURED: […]
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Worst. Night. Ever. #5
Welcome back to the ongoing Blogtown series “Worst. Night. Ever.” Every Wednesday during our weekly pitch meetings, there is one member of our editorial staff—this is almost always Patrick Alan Coleman—who blurts out an event (“JUNE 12, FINNISH BIRCH-CAULKING SOIRÉE AND PIG-TAIL PICKLE”) in the hopes that we will recommend it in the paper. Instead […]
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Worst. Night. Ever. #4: Cycle the Well Field
Photos courtesy of the Columbia Slough Watershed Council Dear Blogtownies, I feel like you haven’t really gotten a handle on this Worst. Night. Ever. thing yet. For starters, the thing you sent me to took place in the MORNING. Secondly, the bike tour of Portland’s well field took place on one of the nicest days […]
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Make Ned’s Night the WORST. NIGHT. EVER.
GUYS! Currently the race to see which awful event Ned Lannamann will have to attend in this week’s WORST. NIGHT. EVER. is close… much, much, too close if you ask me. Currently, it’s almost tied between Ned seeing Sting, and having to take a 16 mile bike ride to tour the areas water wells THAT […]