âYouâre just trying to impress a girl,â says Sheila Bommakanti, ostensibly to me but with her gaze on her wife, Elizabeth Golay, âand you end up with a restaurant.â The three of us are at the South Indian restaurant they own together, Tiffin Asha, where Golay is the chef. Though Golay had been a fan of Bommakantiâs band when they met, Bommakanti claims she used her heritage to lure the cook on a date. âI saidââshe puts on a comically suave affectâââHave you ever had South Indian food?ââ
Some 17 years later, they still seem deeply impressed by each other. When I ask one of them a question, they both answer, Bommakanti meandering casually from the present moment into their history, Golay gently steering her back to the topic at hand when necessary. They look at each other as often as at me, seeming to read the answers to my questions in each otherâs faces.
Iâm reminded that even in Tiffin Ashaâs early days as a food cart on Mississippi, there was an atmosphere of almost impossible easygoingness, considering many of the customers would require an education on just what this foodâthese tiffins and their accoutrementâwas.
The cart slung dosas, idlis, and vadasâtraditional fermented rice or lentil batters cooked by various meansâwith vibrant chutneys and piquant âgunpowderâ spice blends, in nontraditional forms, like the Hot Chick (the huge, crepe-like dosa stuffed with fried chicken pakora) or Vada Holes (a sweet-savory donut hole). That tiffin fare is now on a Sunday brunch menu, to make way for a seasonal dinner menu Thursday through Saturday evenings.
Itâs not easy food to make, according to Golay: âFermentation changes every single day.â Bommakanti claims Golay was simply meant for it. âThis food tests you,â she says. âI donât know about how to make any of it, but I know how itâs supposed to taste.â And from the very beginning, Bommakanti says, âhalf of our clientele was Indian.â
In fact, this interview with Bommakanti and Golay might be the first time Iâve been to Tiffin Asha and not been in the minority as a non-Indian person. âWe also get a lot of biracial couples,â Bommakanti says. Sheâs glad to see it. After a career as a musician, Bommakanti earned a law degree and became a public defender, and she says sheâd often represent people who needed âa place where they could be comfortable to just talk about their day.â She also says she and Golay came of age in a time when it was a struggle for people to be out: âLike, where can we go on a date that we wouldnât be harassed?â
Thereâs an activist spirit built into Tiffin Ashaâin fact, Golay got her culinary start cooking in soup kitchens in Seattle. âIt sparked my interest,â she says, âbut it also just felt good feeding people.â Bommakanti says âvisibility, safe spacesâjust owning a business and being who we are is even more important [since 2016]. Those are the things that actually matter, if this country is going to be called great.â Surprising herself, she says, âOh my god, Iâm getting teary-eyed!â and immediately recalls her last trial as a public defender: trying not to get choked up as she gave her final arguments in the courtroom. Bommakanti was a pro, and stifled her emotions, but Golay recognized the hidden passion. Bommakanti says, âAnd Iâm like, âYeah, because this kid shouldnât be convicted.ââ
She takes a brief second to compose herself and says, âFor the record, we won the case,â and we go back to talking about food, which is to say talking about Bommakanti and Golay, their marriage, their history, their passion and compassion. The meal is light, but filling.