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GOOD MORNING, PORTLAND! You need some laughs this week, right? Then do yourself a favor and DO NOT MISS this Wednesday's super funny "TWO EVILS" live comedy game show, starring Arlo Weierhauser and Kate Murphy, where the audience competes (on their phones!) for fabulous prizes against a special guest comedian—and this time it's the wildly beloved and popular KYLE KINANE! (Plus it's our special Halloween episode!) Get your tickets NOW for what will surely be a sold out show this Wednesday! So do that now, and then hurry back for your morning ladle of NEWS.


• Local villain and Legion of Doom member Kevin Looper—who's a co-founder of the Salem-based, dark money political group "People for Portland"—is being sued by the city for allegedly not paying $46,000 in business taxes. But wait, guys! He says he's completely innocent and had no idea the city sent him MULTIPLE NOTICES that his conniving group of cynical Portland-haters wasn't paying their fair share. But C'MON... shouldn't we give someone who spews constant misinformation about Portland, in order to support his billionaire pals, the benefit of the doubt? 🤔 (Our Courtney Vaughn has more.)

• Today in sinking ships:

• Governor Kotek and city officials are banking on Oregon State Troopers joining downtown police bike patrols as a method of discouraging crime in the downtown core—but is this just another example of "security theater" that slaps a band-aid on the problem rather than doing the hard work that's necessary to provide real solutions? (You can probably guess how I feel about it.) Our Courtney Vaughn has the details about the new program.

• VERY MUCH RELATED: The O did a deep dive into why Oregon ranks so high when compared to other states for self-reported mental health problems, and while answers are expectedly complex, here's a graph you should not miss:

 ...Oregon’s high ranking prevalence stems in large part from high housing costs, having many households that struggle to pay bills, a large proportion of transplanted residents who lack a natural support system and a shortage of rural mental health providers. For some, those problems have been compounded by a wave of cheap, illicit fentanyl and other dangerous drugs.

But yes, by all means, let's continue to throw ineffectual policing at the problem, rather than pointing our finger at unbridled capitalism.

• MORE THAN VERY MUCH RELATED: Speaking of deep dives, if you say you care about Portland (and Oregon's) homeless crisis, then DO NOT MISS this insightful look at the history of how we got here from former Mercurian and current OPB-ian Alex Zielinski, who lays out the facts about how key mistakes made in the last 50 years—i.e. destroying affordable housing and switching over to a shelter model—led to our current crisis of cyclical homelessness. (And how our current city leaders continue to ignore the truth and repeat the mistakes of the past.)

• The Frog Ferry project—the ferry system that would serve Portland and Vancouver commuters via the Columbia and Willamette rivers—seems to be sinking fast due to PBOT's incredible shrinking budget, and doesn't seem to have any supporters on city council that's willing to be its champion. However, supporters aren't quite ready to throw in the towel just yet. Find out more from this report from our Taylor Griggs.


• The Israeli government has declared war on Hamas following the group's Friday surprise attack on the country, and have retaliated with airstrikes across the Gaza Strip, shutting off all electricity, food, and water to the area. At least 1,200 people are dead and thousands more have been wounded on both sides. This latest conflict, which has been roiling for centuries, reportedly started thanks to policies from Israel Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu that ramped up violence and suppressed Palestinian rights in the region. In response, Hamas fighters stormed an Israeli border fence on Friday, shooting down both civilians and soldiers and attacking a nearby music festival, reportedly murdering 250 people and taking hostages—they now have around 130 hostages (including older folk and children) according to Hamas sources. Israel retaliated with 800 airstrikes that included demolishing a 14-story tower, killing 700, though residents claim there were no militants in the building. Near constant Israeli bombing has also nearly leveled the town of Beit Hanoun killing innocent civilians including children. Despite this, the Biden administration has repeated their support for Israel, and are sending an aircraft carrier to the region while supplying the country with military supplies and munitions. Meanwhile, protesters representing both sides in cities across the nation have been marching, and tensions remain high. As usual, Elon Musk is NOT helping and has been spreading misinformation instead of showing his concern for the situation by shutting the fuck up... which for him seems to be an impossible task.

• It's Indigenous Peoples' Day, a time to remember and recognize how colonialism led to dispossession and violence perpetrated against Indigenous people, as well as celebrating their culture and recognizing the problems they continue to face. (Goodbye, Columbus!)

• A well-earned congrats to Claudia Goldin, whose studies about women in the workforce—and the resultant pay inequities that followed—have earned her the 2023 Nobel Prize in Economics.

• In more labor news, the summer of strikes continues as Walgreen pharmacists at some locations across the nation are planning to walk off the job today due to harsh working conditions—it's currently unclear whether Portland will be affected. Meanwhile, employees at Mack Trucks are on strike after negotiations with their management broke down over low wages and job security.

• And finally... here's your reminder that Sigourney Weaver IS THE FUCKING BEST.