BLOGTOWN

Sorry about the lengthy email, but it's a soap opera of a story.

Six weeks ago, my dad moved out of my parents' home without a word to anyone about why. Two weeks ago, I found out via pictures on Facebook that my dad was having an affair. I was a little late to the party — my mom's sister had figured it out a month before I did, and my mom had been told (by her sister) a couple of weeks before I found out. He claimed to my mom it was only an emotional affair (we didn't believe him, but my mom did), and I tried to stay out of it while they worked things out.

This morning, everything blew up. Mistress #1 Facebook messaged me, upset, because my dad broke up with her last night. She called him a pathological liar and said he'd been dating other women while dating her. I wrote her back saying I knew about the affair with her, but was skeptical of her motives at this point. She then provided me with proof: pictures of them, romantic texts/emails, hotel receipts, a screenshot of his online dating profile, the works. Plus contact info for mistress #2. I called Mistress #2 and she confirmed everything. She talked about specific Christmas presents he gave me last year that she picked out, and both mistresses knew intimate details about our lives.

Now I'm at a loss. Until my dad moved out, I thought he was the best husband in the world. My dad and I have had a slightly strained relationship for years, but he always treated my mom like she was gold (and she is gold). Trips, flowers, surprises, romance — throughout my 28 years of life my parents were an example of a ridiculously happy and loving couple. When I found out about the first affair I asked my aunt if my parents were still physically involved (retching as I asked the question). She confirmed that they were; she said my mother's sex drive had gone down due to menopause, but that "it was important to her to make him happy" at least once or twice a week.

I guess my question is, what can I do? I just got off the phone with my dad and warned him the lid was off and he had to come completely clean with my mom, today, before his mistresses blabbed to more people. He blew up at me but eventually agreed to do it.

As a faithful reader/listener I know that this is their business and that monogamy isn't always practiced perfectly, but this seems beyond the pale to me. It's not one hand job on a business trip after 30 years of perfect monogamy. The more I learn the deeper this goes, and I suspect we still don't know everything yet. The couple of times I've tried to (calmly!) talk to my dad about this, he accuses me of attacking him baselessly and tells me to stay out of it, but it's literally showing up at my front doorstep now.

What can I do? I feel like my faith in two people working it out for the long haul has been shattered. I have one 26-year-old brother who's publicly poly, so this is not a case of him not knowing about open relationship models or waiting to initiate divorce until all the kids were out of the house. I feel so lost.

Help Enraged Daughter In Distress With Harrowing Adulterous Troubles