Things to Do Thursday!

August Greene
Fresh off their NPR Tiny Desk Concert, the hip-hop and R&B supergroup headed up by Common, Robert Glasper, and Karriem Riggins make their Portland debut in support of their debut self-titled album. (8:30 pm, Roseland, $45-65)

David Sedaris
If you think you’re too cool for David Sedaris—the first of his name, brother of Amy, author of NPR’s old reliable holiday mainstay (c’mon, the Santaland Diaries is GOOD) and such humorist delights as Me Talk Pretty One Day and Dress Your Family in Corduroy and Denim—you’re lying to yourself and you need to stop. Sedaris’ dry wit is indispensable in trying times. Go get some! (7:30 pm, Arlene Schnitzer Concert Hall, $32.50-57.50, all ages) MEGAN BURBANK

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TriMet Board: Fare Checks Are Constitutional


Not paying for a TriMet ticket isn’t a crime—but TriMet officers can still ask to see your ticket.

That’s the key takeaway from an amendment the TriMet Board passed today, clarifying that failing to pay transit fare is not a criminal offense, but that it is still constitutional for transit officers to request proof of payment.

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Hawthorne Burgerville Workers Want a Union


Burgerville employees working at the chain's Hawthorne location are the latest to ask management to formally recognize their store's union.

“Burgerville corporate likes to say that they’re excited to work with the union and listen to us workers,” said James Curry, a worker at the Hawthorne Burgerville, in a press release. “This is their chance to do the right thing and prove it."

According to Burgerville union spokesperson Emmett Schlenz, 80 percent of those employed at the Hawthorne store have signed a petition supporting unionization, which was delivered to their store manager this afternoon. These workers join two other Burgerville stores—one on SE 92nd and Powell and another in Gladstone)—in pushing to unionize.

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Portland City Council Rejects Mayor's Protest Restrictions

Dirk Vanderhart

Portland City Council has voted against adopting Mayor Ted Wheeler's contentious new protest ordinance.

The ordinance, introduced less than a month ago, attempted to limit the number of violent clashes between right-wing and left-wing groups by restricting the location, duration, and size of protests in Portland. These limitations would have only applied to instances when two groups who have a "history of violence" against one another planned to protest in Portland without applying for a city permit to protest.

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This Thursday, Drink Wine to Support Women and Charities, While Screwing Over Trump


This is a big week for wine.

Every year on the third Thursday of November (this Thursday, Nov 15! Tomorrow!), wineries across the world release the wonder that is Beaujolais Nouveau, a barely fermented wine made from Gamay grapes harvested this fall. The resulting wine is light, fruity and super fun to taste. And on Thursday, SE Wine Collective is doing a free Beaujolais Nouveau tasting from 5 pm to 7 pm at its spot on SE Division and 35th Place. Free sips from Bow & Arrow, Chemeketa Wine Program, Division Winemaking Co., Fausse Piste, Flat Brim, Fossil & Fawn, Johan // Morgan Beck, St. Reginald Parish, Scenic Valley, and more are included.

I’d start there, and then get your ass over to St. Jack, which is throwing a big old Nouveau block party, with proceeds going to Pueblo Unido, an amazing charity that teams up people who are being deported by furnishing lawyers to aid them. Tickets are $55 and include food from St. Jack, Arden, Ataula, OK Omens, Coopers Hall, Grassa, Nostrana, Bantam Tavern, OUI! @ S.E. Wine Collective, Pip's Original Doughnuts, and Ranch Pizza.

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Win Tickets to Iron Maiden's First Portland Show in 32 Years


Next fall, Iron Maiden will touch down in Portland for the first time since 1987—the year when the Simpsons first debuted on national television and Alf reigned supreme. A lot has changed since those days, but the pioneering British metalheads haven't stopped howling to packed arenas around the world.

Iron Maiden's "Legacy of the Beast" tour—which supports the release of the band's mobile game, comic book, and pinball machine of the same name—hits Moda Center on Friday, September 6, 2019, and will feature a set list dominated by older hits, along with "tons of pyro, a giant Icarus, muskets, claymores, and some truly marvelous flame-throwers." Neat!

Tickets go on sale Friday at 10 am, but great news for the gamblers: The Mercury is giving away three pairs to those willing to "take a spin of the wheel." Enter to win below, before the contest closes next Monday, November 19. You've got nothing to lose, but so much to gain.

Portland's World Naked Bike Ride 2019 Has Set a Date

@portablesera + @staywildmagazine
@portablesera + @staywildmagazine

Save the date! Portland's 2019 World Naked Bike Ride is June 29th!

From who annonced the date:

Far from a fringe bike ride, Portland’s World Naked Bike Ride has become a legitimate — dare I say, mainstream — event.

The ride turns 15 this year. And just in case you want to mark your calendar, organizers say June 29th is the date of the 2019 edition.

What started as a somewhat renegade affair with just over 100 riders in 2004, the ride now draws around 8,000 to 10,000 people, all of whom show up in varying levels of nudity (the ride’s motto is “Bare as you dare”).

Here's a few things you'll need to know about how to prepare yourself to be naked on a bike in a crowd of 10,000 (this piece is from 2017, but not much changes except the time and location of the ride).

Justin Timberlake Postpones Portland Concert Until February 18


Due to bruised vocal cords, Justin Timberlake is postponing his Portland show until Monday, February 18 (originally scheduled for this Friday, November 16). As someone with extensive JT experience, I assure you that the star rarely ever cancels or postpones his concerts, so this is obviously a vocally serious circumstance. In addition to other newly postponed shows in Sacramento and Anaheim, Timberlake was previously forced to postpone dates in New York, and two in Tacoma on doctor's orders. The "Man of the Woods Tour" will resume in Los Angeles on November 27. Live Nation says tickets for the previously scheduled events will be honored (or refunded) at the new dates.

While it's pretty sad that fans won't get to see JT this Friday, it's even sadder to imagine Justin's bruised, shriveled vocal cords plunking away and powering through renditions of "LoveStoned," and "Cry Me A River."
Let's just pray for Timberlake's voice to be golden again and look forward to February, when we'll definitely be in need of a late-winter a pick-me-up. Until then, you can, I dunno, go buy his new book Hindsight or something.

Good Morning, News: E-Scooters Scoot Out of Portland, the Imploding Trump White House, and Begorrah! Irish UFOs are Real?!?

Stay up to date on Portland news and politics. Looking for fun? Here are the best Things to Do in Portland today.

Portlands last e-scooter ride?
Portland's last e-scooter ride? GETTY / MARIO TAMA / STAFF

GOOD MORNING, PORTLAND! Call Rene and Boo, gotta meet them soon. Tell T to call Shawn, I'll be there at 1. LET'S GO TO PRESS.

Trump's plan to erase and eradicate trans people is falling on deaf ears at OHSU, who is telling him to (metaphorically) go to hell.

The New York Times and other major media sources are finally coming around to the idea that there actually was "a blue wave" during the midterms after more and more Republican electoral strongholds are being snatched up by the Democrats.

Trump's White House is a cesspool of really grotesque people who can't get along—we know this truth to be self-evident. But when Melania Trump is calling for the firing of a national security official? IT IS GETTING BAD.

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Portland Sticks E-Scooter Company Skip With $9,000 Fine


The Portland Bureau of Transportation (PBOT) has fined e-scooter company Skip $9,000 for taking its scooters offline in October—and explicitly violating its contract with the city.

Specifically, PBOT says Skip failed to make the promised minimum of 100 e-scooters a day available to people in East Portland during Oct. 17 and Oct. 31. The company also did not deploy at least 90 percent of its e-scooter fleet during these days. Both of these rules are in direct violation of the city's "Shared E-Scooter Pilot Program", a program with rules that three e-scooter companies (Skip, Bird, and Lime) promised to adhere to in July.

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Things to Do Wednesday!

Masego, VanJess
Singer/songwriter Micah Davis, better known by his stage name Masego, is more famous than you think he is, but not famous enough for what he does, and how amazingly well he does it. Not to compare every virtuosic singular musical talent with a flair for the theatrical to Prince but... Masego is kind of like if Prince grew up in the '90s, never had a big chip on his shoulder about hip-hop, blended it expertly with R&B and especially jazz, and was obviously having the time of his fucking life making it all up on the spot right in front of you. And if that seems far-fetched, it won't within 10 minutes of his performance tonight. (8 pm, Hawthorne Theatre, $20-23, all ages)

Florist’s 2017 masterpiece If Blue Could Be Happiness sounds like it was made to live inside your heart. The New York band’s brand of indie folk-pop is small, gentle, and delicate, yet it resonates with deeply felt feelings that will ring true with anyone who has ever lived, loved, and lost. “Look what I found,” Emily Sprague sings. “There’s sound inside me, but I am not that loud." If Blue Could Be Happiness is a quietly beautiful monument to the impermanence of life and hope for the future. (8 pm, Mission Theater, $10-12, all ages) BEN SALMON

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She Fell in Love With One Guy but Wound up With Another


This might seem as a pretty ordinary issue compared to the ones I usually read about on your blog but I could really use your help. I am 29-year-old hetero woman in a monogamous relationship relationship. I love my boyfriend and I am OK to fuck him only. When I met him, he could barely carry a sexual act to its end. He had some issues from his past relationships and we worked on them together, to the point where we now have great sexual chemistry and a lot of sex.

Early on I realized he liked to fantasize a lot about friends, family, and people we met. It was quite new to me, but I gradually started to appreciate that and explore new ideas and fantasies myself. We role played, we used Chatroulette and YP, and recently I went on vacation and came back with a couple of toys to have fun with. Things like that.

But he seems to NEED to comment on every slightly sexy girl passing by, or who appears on TV, on in his Facebook news feed. He knows it makes me jealous and uncomfortable when he does this—it makes me feel like I am not sexy, beautiful, or transgressive enough—and I don’t see the sense of telling me stuff that makes me unhappy. To make things even worse, Dan, he has stopped telling me how sexy, beautiful, or even nice I am.

There are times when he is jealous about friends or colleagues that showed an interest on me and I tried to show him respect and avoided engaging in behaviors that made him uncomfortable. I embraced his point of view regarding these interactions and put a stop to them. But every time I try to point out that this behavior makes me sick it’s like I’m telling him to not be himself. He gets angry and tells me I sound just like his mother.

When I've tried to speak with him about this he gets upset and says I can't possibly understand him and that I need to get over this stupid stuff and that I am mediocre girlfriend. And tonight he randomly friended on fifteen pretty girls on Facebook to see if I would get angry. It actually made me cry.

I feel like shit at the moment and I would like to know your opinion. I have always thought of myself as open minded—a tiny bit jealous, yes, but still a reasonable person. And I never felt so diminished and not-attractive as during those episodes. I am not sure what I am doing wrong.

Just A Jealous Girl

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Hurrah! There are TWO New "I, Anonymous Show" Podcasts Ready for Your Ears!


Teammates! Our long national nightmare is over, because not only do we have one brand new episode of the I, Anonymous Show podcast ready to download... WE HAVE TWO BRAND NEW EPISODES OF THE I, ANONYMOUS SHOW PODCAST READY TO DOWNLOAD!!

And oh, they are soooo good and funny! As a reminder, this is the podcast version of the Mercury's monthly I, Anonymous Show taped at Curious Comedy Theater in front of a live, raucous audience. Host Caitlin Weierhauser reads some of the best, most INSANE I, Anonymous confessions and rants sent to the Mercury, and a panel of gleeful, opinionated comedians chitty-chat all about them. Check out the episode descriptions:

EPISODE #11: The First Time I Screwed a Microwaved Grapefruit…
This month: Breaking up via birthday cards, “touching my roommate’s soft, white buns," and “I put wieners in my mouth, Karen! Okay?!?” Panelists Wendy Weiss, Amanda Lynn Deal, and Kate Murphy join host Caitlyn Weierhauser to dissect YOUR most insane (and anonymous!) confessions and rants. Submit yours at


EPISODE #12: Erotic Blackhead Popping
This month: "Kids asking about my dick size," "How DARE you park in front of my house," and "Fuck youuuu, famous Hollywood actor!" Panelists Katie Nguyen, Brandon Lyons, and Jason Traeger join host Caitlyn Weierhauser to dissect YOUR most insane (and anonymous!) confessions and rants. Submit yours at

Plus there are plenty other older episodes to enjoy, such as "I (May Have) Impregnated My Sister," "That's Big Dick Confidence," "A Dildo Named Boss," and many more! And come to the live show on the first Wednesday of every month (stay tuned for details and ticket info). Until then enjoy these TWO brand-spanking new episodes (download them here at iTunes, or wherever you find fine podcasts) and keep a fresh pair of undies handy, 'cuz you may pee yourself laughing!

City's Plan to Limit Cars in Central Portland Includes Massive Investment in Parking


A plan to improve transit options and decrease the number of cars in central Portland just received a last-minute addition—one that would include investing in more parking options in the city center.

Central City in Motion (CCIM) is an 18-project plan from the Portland Bureau of Transportation that's been a year in the making. CCIM promises pedestrian crossing improvements, redesigned roadways that will better accommodate busses and trucks, and safer biking options in downtown Portland and the Central Eastside, among other things.

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D.B. Cooper Is the Northwest Skyjacking Conspiracy That Keeps on Giving

A sketch of D.B. Cooper.
A sketch of D.B. Cooper.
Oregon's favorite skyjacking conspiracy—and the only unsolved airplane hijacking in US history—just got a shot of new life this morning through a longform piece by the Oregonian. Author and true crime journalist Douglas Perry breaks down a new theory about exactly who D.B. Cooper was, with unexamined evidence and a (potentially) plausible new suspect.

To recap: In 1971, Cooper (or whatever his real name was) hijacked a Northwest flight out of Portland, demanding a large ransom. The flight landed in Seattle and discarded the passengers, while Cooper, the flight crew, and $200,000 in cash all headed for Reno. Somewhere between Seattle and Reno—quite possibly somewhere in Oregon—Cooper parachuted out of the plane and was never identified or heard from again.

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