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Good Morning, News: John Kelly's Over It, Brexit Vote Delayed, and Escaped Felon Shot in NE Starbucks

Stay up to date on Portland news and politics. Looking for fun? Here are the best Things to Do in Portland today.

Girl, bye.
Girl, bye. Drew Angerer / Getty Images


See Ya Never: Both Donald Trump's and Mike Pence's chiefs of staff—John Kelly and Nick Ayers—have announced they'll be leaving the White House by the end of the year (aka, the end of the month). Trump, who had wanted to replace Kelly with Ayers, has no obvious replacement picked out.

Thank U, Next: Done with filleting Michael Cohen, federal prosecutors are now zeroing in on how the Trump family business played a role in influencing the 2016 election.

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Timbers Fall One Step Short as Atlanta Wins MLS Cup 2-0

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Craig Mitchelldyer/Portland Timbers
When the Portland Timbers won MLS Cup in 2015, you could feel it coming for weeks. They were the best team in two countries. It was clear.

This year, the Timbers were never that. They finished in fifth place in the Western Conference in the regular season, in eighth place overall, and then proceeded to go on one of the most thrilling, unafraid playoff runs in recent MLS history: going on the road and beating Dallas, beating Seattle, beating Kansas City, and arriving again at MLS Cup with a championship in sight.

On Saturday night, though, in front of more than 73,000 rabid supporters at Mercedes-Benz Stadium, on one of the biggest stages in league history, the Timbers finally met their match.

In the final game of the 2018 season, Atlanta United beat Portland 2-0. It was the right result — the culmination, for Atlanta, of meteoric two-year ascent that has done nothing less than change the face of American soccer.

For the Timbers, it is a painfully empty end to a journey that captured so much of what makes soccer so wonderfully compelling.

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Sponsored

Spoiler Alert: Everybody Dies In Everybody at Artists Rep

Imagine Death knocks on your door...literally. It's time to go, and no, you don't have a choice. And yes, it's really happening. Do you want someone to accompany you? Of course you do. But who will? Complete with the embodiments of your favorite real-life characters and emotions (Love, Kinship, Stuff, Friendship...and of course, Death), Everybody by Branden Jacobs-Jenkins is an audacious riff on the 15th century morality play Everyman. Of the robust 10-person cast, five brave actors will play a multitude of roles with their characters chosen by lottery onstage every night — with a possible 120 combinations — as they fight to cheat Death. If contemplating death doesn't put you in the Holiday spirit...then what does?

When: Now - December 30

Where: Artists Repertory Theatre, 1516 SW Alder St. Portland, OR


Things to Do Sunday!

Bri Pruett
Bri Pruett’s one-woman show Stellar was touching, funny, and wise so when she took it and herself to LA, we all kicked the dirt and knew she deserved more. But now Pruett’s back for the holidays with a one-night, catch-up headliner evening. Pruett says she’s not doing Stellar material, but I’m hella game to hear what this smart, musing comic has to say about her recent adventures in LA. (7:30 pm, Siren Theater, $15) SUZETTE SMITH

YOB, Khorâda, Thrones
It’s been a wild year for Yob: Almost two decades into their career, the heavy rock trio faced their own mortality and reached their highest level of critical success. Guitarist/vocalist Mike Scheidt wrote a good portion of Yob’s latest record, Our Raw Heart, as he stared down death in the hospital with diverticulitis. In the process, what was almost the end became a rebirth. The album, and the members of Yob themselves, continue to demolish the tidy doom label that was cast upon them so many years ago—this is a band that may well be creating their own genre. (9 pm, Star Theater, $20) MARK LORE

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Blazers Recap: The Blazers Muzzle The Timberwolves, 113-105!

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Photo By Bruce Ely / trailblazers.com

For the past several years, the NBA has been lopsided as far as talent is concerned. The Western Conference teams are way more stacked with all-stars and leaders than the Eastern Conference. Now that Lebron James has crossed the line and saddled up with the Lakers, it’s even worse. Of the 15 teams in the Western Conference, 11 of them have records at, or over .500. Compare that to the Eastern Conference’s six teams, and you’ve got a teeter-totter with a penny on one side, and an anvil on the other.

That being said, the Trail Blazers play as of late isn’t gonna hack it amongst their conference’s field of teams. For some reason they’re already looking mentally and physically tired this season. Dropping a couple wins here and there between a handful of losses is not a good formula for success. You can’t just tread water and hope that you won’t drown when the water is brimming with sharks. You’ve gotta stay composed and swim hard.

Last night the Blazers pushed up against the Minnesota Timberwolves. Coming off a blow-out win against the poor, poor Phoenix Suns on Thursday, it was a chance for the Blazers to get themselves pointed back in the right direction. Unfortunately, in order to do that they had a massive obstacle in their way named Karl-Anthony Towns. The Blazers have gone 1-1 against the Timberwolves so far this season, and Towns certainly made it difficult for the Blazers in both of those contests. The big men wearing red and black were gonna have their hands full.

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Photo By Bruce Ely / trailblazers.com

To quote Damian Lillard in the postgame interview with Brook Olzendam, it was a “dogfight” between the two teams. Despite the snarl of the Timberwolves, Nurk put up 22 points and 11 rebounds, and Lillard cranked in 28 points to get the Blazers a win, 113-105.

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Things to Do Saturday!

Crafty Wonderland
If you’re feeling guilty for purchasing GARBAGE gifts for your loved ones every holiday season, there’s a quick and fun cure: Crafty Wonderland. The annual celebration of everything crafty and DIY returns to the Convention Center with over 250 vendors selling really good handmade goods: hats, action figures, art, wallets, jewelry, pins, T-shirts, bowties for cats, slingshots, and thousands more super fun and original gifts will be on display. So go, buy, and stop disappointing your loved ones, already! (Sat-Sun 11 am, Oregon Convention Center, free, all ages) WM. STEVEN HUMPHREY

Rosanne Cash
Over the past four decades, Rosanne Cash has quietly made one of the most consistent careers in country music. Since releasing her self-titled debut in 1978, the singer/songwriter has released 14 albums, each sounding surer and steadier than the last. Cash’s storytelling skills are on full display on her new record She Remembers Everything, which includes a couple of interesting collaborations with Kris Kristofferson and Elvis Costello. After paying tribute to her late father Johnny on 2009’s The List, on She Remembers Everything Cash eases back into her own sharp observations on life and growing older, and all but solidifies her status as a major influence on country music. (8 pm, Revolution Hall, $42.50-45, all ages) MARK LORE

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Tacos, Food Carts, and Plastic Utensil Bans: Your Weekly Food and Drink Wrap

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MEG NANNA

It’s the final month of the year, and in the local food world that means “best of” lists for the year that was. (Eater just named its “best ofs,” and published its readers’ "best of" votes as well. Turns out you guys really like Hey Love.) But before we tackle the local scene, here’s some regional—no, national—news to report. This week, the San Francisco Chronicle named its newest food reviewer: Former Portland resident, Bitch contributor, and Racist Sandwich podcaster Soleil Ho. Head over to Twitter to congratulate her!

Okay, here we go…

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Lying to a Protester About First Amendment Rights Isn't Police De-escalation, Board Finds

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Kenton Waltz

There are certain circumstances when police officers are allowed to lie to members of the public: When they're working undercover, when they're working on a hostage negotiation, and when its unavoidable to protect public safety.

Lying to a protester about their First Amendment rights, however, doesn't make the cut.

At a meeting this past Wednesday, Portland's police oversight board, the Citizen Review Committee (CRC)—the civilian-led board that, among other things, hears appeals from people who've accused police officers of wrongdoing—unanimously agreed that a cop violated the Portland Police Bureau's "Truthfulness" policy when he told someone they could go to jail for filming the police.

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Lisa Kron’s In the Wake: A Little Too Self-Congratulatory for Our Tastes

Danielle Weathers, Tamera Lyn, Alissa Jessup, Chris Murray, Beth Thompson, Jane Geesman in In the Wake
Danielle Weathers, Tamera Lyn, Alissa Jessup, Chris Murray, Beth Thompson, Jane Geesman in In the Wake DAVID KINDER

Ellen—the protagonist of In the Wake, Lisa Kron’s play about the early ’00s and the accompanying George W. Bush presidency—is a common type of white idealist American.

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Blazer's Recap: Blazers Beat the Worst Team in the NBA

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Bruce Ely/Trailblazers.com

The Blazers have been in a slump, losing six out of their last seven games and sinking fast in the Western conference standings. What a nice time for the Phoenix Suns to roll into town. Without their two leading scorers, Devon Booker and TJ Warren, and limping along in last place anyway, the Suns were just the opponent the Blazers needed. Phoenix only managed to score nine points in the first quarter of their last game. Amazingly, they repeated that woeful feat in Portland. The score after one quarter was 34-9. Portland's Jake Layman had a fantastic night, scoring a career high 24 points. The game was never in doubt and the final tally was 108-86.

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Big Tech Embraces Big Censorship

Morality police Mark Zuckerberg
Morality police Mark Zuckerberg Alex Wong/Getty

Looks like Facebook has jumped on the censorship bandwagon. The company's Community Standards now stipulates that they will be cracking down on anything resembling sexual solicitation, including talking about sex. (The policies were updated in October but are just making news now because someone posted screenshots to Twitter this week.)

Sexual solicitation, in this case, doesn't mean trying to actually purchase sex; it also means legal, consensual, non-paid hookups, which people are no longer permitted to discuss on Facebook. While the company has long banned porn, dick pics, and the like, according to the company's new rules, it now prohibits "sexual hints such as mentioning sexual roles, sex positions, fetish scenarios, sexual preference/sexual partner preference, state of arousal, act of sexual intercourse or activity (sexual penetration or self-pleasuring), commonly sexualized areas of the body such as the breasts, groin, or buttocks, state of hygiene of genitalia or buttocks.” As Queerty pointed out, that means no more specificying whether you're a top or a bottom.

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Here Are 31 Songs to Get You Through December

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It's a week overdue, but please enjoy the Mercury's *belated* December playlist, a collection of songs from artists headed to Portland in these final days of 2018.

Things always slow down once the winter chill sets in, but there's still plenty to do this month, from Mama Bird Recording Co.'s second annual Winter Wassail to Frankie Simone's Holigay Spectacular to XRAY.fm's final Mall Takeover event. There'll be hometown shows from Aminé, Alela Diane, Ural Thomas, and Red Fang, along with tour stops from rising pop-star Billie Eilish, legendary power-pop band Redd Kross, and bewitching folksinger Jessica Pratt.

Be sure to check our Things to Do Music calendar for more details about upcoming shows in Portland!


Erik Henriksen Tells You What to Watch This Weekend™

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Welcome to the Erik Henriksen Tells You What to Watch This Weekend™, a weekly post in which I, Erik Henriksen, tell you what you should watch this weekend! I will continue doing this post until you have watched everything you should watch.


Movie-wise, things are bit slow at the moment, since all the major studios are saving up their films for the weeks directly leading up to Christmas, at which point they're going to punch you right in the face with Mary Poppins and Aquaman and that Ruth Bader Ginsburg biopic that looks like it's going to be kinda bad? But there are still some things you should watch this weekend! Here they are.

THE FAVOURITE—One of the best-reviewed movies of the year is the latest from The Lobster genius Yorgos Lanthimos, who's rounded up an insanely good cast—Olivia Colman, Rachel Weisz, Emma Stone—for what the Mercury's Ned Lannamann calls "a movie that works magnificently on every level." I can't go until Sunday, so if any of you spoil this for me before then there'll be hell to pay. (Now playing, various theaters)

DUMPLIN'—I can't put it any better than Ciara Dolan did: "Based on Julie Murphy’s YA novel, Dumplin’ is a total delight. Here are a few of the totally delightful things you will see in the Netflix dramedy’s 110 minutes: talent show yodeling, Dolly Parton drag queens teaching youths how to vogue, and Jennifer Aniston blow-drying away her tears." (Netflix)

SCHINDLER'S LIST—One of Spielberg's best films gets a depressingly relevant rerelease on its 25th anniversary. "Individual hate is a terrible thing," Spielberg told NBC Nightly News when asked what he hoped 2018 audiences would take away from the film. "But when collective hate organizes and gets industrialized, then genocide follows." (Now playing, various theaters)

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The Favourite Review: Costumes, Mud, and the Indisputable Greatness of Olivia Colman

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The Favourite has a little something for everyone. Palace intrigue! Double crosses! Fancy clothes! Scathing social satire! History, sort of! Gunplay! Handjobs! Mud baths! Silly dancing! Animal cruelty! A bewigged but otherwise nude man being pelted with pomegranates in slow motion!

Okay, maybe The Favourite isn’t for everyone—it’s a Yorgos Lanthimos film, after all. The Greek director of Dogtooth, The Lobster, and The Killing of a Sacred Deer invariably strives to unsettle his audience, and there’s a lot in The Favourite to make the average costume-drama aficionado decidedly uncomfortable.

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Good Morning, News: Mueller Set to Dump on Trump, N.C. Voter Scandal Gets Worse (for GOP), and Timbers Go for the Cup!

Stay up to date on Portland news and politics. Looking for fun? Here are the best Things to Do in Portland today.

Its a good day to take a dump on Trump.
It's a good day to take a dump on Trump. T.J. Kirkpatrick / Getty

GOOD MORNING, PORTLAND! I just know that it feels wrong when I'm away too long, it makes my body hot. LET'S GO TO PRESS.

Trump is especially panicky today because Special Counsel Robert Mueller is scheduled to release another info drop—this time about the president's former co-conspirators Michael Cohen and Paul Manafort.


For someone who despises undocumented workers so much, Donald Trump doesn't seem to mind hiring them to work at his golf clubs, even giving one a White House commendation.

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Timbers v. Atlanta United MLS Cup Preview

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Portland Timbers
For the second time in four years, the Portland Timbers are 90 minutes away from a championship.

That first MLS Cup appearance couldn't have gone much better. In 2015, the Timbers went to Columbus, led for more than 89 minutes after Diego Valeri's opening goal, and won their first league title ever.

This might be a tougher task. Atlanta United has taken MLS by storm after debuting just last year, pouring in goals and stacking up attendance records. Do the Timbers have one more upset in them? We're one day away from finding out (TV on FOX, 5:00 p.m.).

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