SUMMER OF $5 SLUSHIES

Melano Departs Again, This Time For Good

IM1.jpg
Craig Mitchelldyer/Portland Timbers
Lucas Melano is leaving Portland again, and, this time, he won't be returning.

The Timbers and Melano announced this morning that they have mutually agreed to terminate the forward's contract, finally bringing to a close the Argentinian forward's largely deflating four-year career in the Rose City.

Continue reading »

Los Angeles Gets a Cannabis Cafe, While Oregonians Are Stuck Hotboxing in Their Subarus

Justin Sullivan / Getty
Justin Sullivan / Getty

Something that should have been a claim to fame for Oregon is now the subject of bragging rights for California—and, like a donut made by a livid baker, I am filled with both jelly and anger. Next month will see the debut of Lowell Farms: A Cannabis Cafe, a space in West Hollywood that will offer guests the opportunity to purchase and consume cannabis in a well-appointed restaurant/bar setting.

Oregonians and Oregon's tourists would obviously despise the idea of having such a thing in our fine state, which has to be the reason we've consistently shot down any legislative effort put forward to license any social consumption spaces. But, you know, good for West Hollywood, I guess. The team behind this are the co-founders of well-known cannabis brand Lowell Herb Co., whose pre-rolls, Lowell Smokes, are carried at hundreds of California dispensaries.

The Hollywood Reporter's story includes artist renderings of what the space will look like—airy, open, and filled with natural light and plants. THR mentions that in keeping with the brand’s eco-conscious messaging, “core elements of the café are sourced from local artisans, and everything from the wood on the tables and benches to the silverware is reclaimed and reused.”

Good luck getting anyone from Pacific Wonderland to sign off on that hand-me-down nonsense, Goodwill Gloria! Everyone knows that Oregonians like things that are new and shiny and wrapped in a hectare of plastic. Reused silverware sounds like commie silverware.

Continue reading »

Good Morning, News: Republicans Want to Recall Brown, Stinky Flower Stinks, and Yes, You Still Have to Care About Cementless Milkshakes

Stay up to date on Portland news and politics. Looking for fun? Here are the best Things to Do in Portland today.

Me waving to my haters.
Me waving to my haters. STATE OF OREGON

Good morning, Portland! Did you hear about Vancouver's corpse flower? It's in bloom! I'm tempted to say that everyone losing their shit over a stinky flower is the perfect metaphor for 2019, but frankly, I'm afraid that'd be a bit too optimistic.

Here are the headlines!

Do You Recall? Oregon Republicans, who everyone really loves and definitely aren't divisive or bad-faith actors at all, are now planning to launch a recall of Governor Kate Brown.

You know what's ironic about that? (Or, you know, at least ironic in the Morissette meaning of the word?) After California recalled its Democratic governor in 2003, Arnold Schwarzenegger was elected. Arnold, for all his faults, ushered in cap-and-trade for California—you know, that thing that scared our Republicans so badly they fled the state. Anyway, the more you know!

Shaking: The Portland activists who handed out vegan milkshakes at last month's downtown Portland protest (which, as far as we can tell, did not have cement in them, contrary to Portland Police Bureau's tweet to the contrary) are not ready to let the issue go. They've received death threats thanks to that erroneous tweet, and they want an apology and a retraction.

Continue reading »

Live Review: Cate Le Bon at Doug Fir Lounge, July 12, 2019

CLB.jpg
Portland Mercury

Cate Le Bon doesn’t reveal much when she performs live. Throughout her otherworldly performance at the Doug Fir Lounge this past Friday, she surveyed the audience with a thousand-yard stare and a stoic expression. The only indication that the music was having any effect on her was when she would lightly tap on her chest in time with the beat. And when she sang, she pulled her arms close to her, often jutting her left elbow out directly toward the sold-out crowd as if to keep them at bay.

The truth is that Le Bon has already revealed so much of herself to the world through her five albums, particularly through her latest masterwork Reward. On that record, the 36-year-old reflects on broken relationships, jealousy, loss, and her feelings about the city of Miami with language that's both direct and impressionistic. If you weren’t picking up what she was putting down through these artful pop tunes, you weren’t paying attention.

Continue reading »

Activists Calls on City to Retract Inflammatory Milkshake Tweet

Members of PopMob hand out milkshakes on June 29.
Members of PopMob hand out milkshakes on June 29. Alex Zielinski

On Saturday, June 29, the Portland Police Bureau (PPB) published a tweet accusing left-wing activists of mixing cement into the nearly 800 milkshakes they distributed during a protest held that same day. While PPB has yet to provide any evidence supporting this claim—which quickly proliferated across the internet as fact—the tweet has not been redacted or even clarified by the public agency.

Mayor Ted Wheeler has brushed the misleading tweet aside as having good intentions, while his police liaison Robert King has called it "responsible."

Meanwhile, the group PPB accused of creating cement milkshakes has been fielding death threats and harassment via social media and phone calls.

Continue reading »

Watch Burn Money Music's Bridge City Cypher 9: Bocha, YoungShirtMayne, Danny Sky, and Donte Thomas

Screen_Shot_2019-07-15_at_12.29.12_PM.png
Burn Money Music

On Friday, Burn Money Music dropped the latest episode in its Bridge City Cypher series, featuring some of Portland's most talked about hip-hop talent. Since everyone pre-recorded their verses for the video, it's not exactly a true cypher—an informal gathering in which one rapper freestyles after another—but this is one of their strongest videos yet.

Over a beat produced by Sxlxmxn, Bocha is first up, and raps about the grind with his signature laid-back delivery. Next, Naturally Grown Misfits co-founder YoungShirtMayne takes the spotlight. In his typical shirtless getup, the rapper effortlessly switches up his flow multiple times. Then MC Danny Sky—a Portlander by way of Georgia who made an excellent love letter to cannabis in "THX"—comes in with a high-energy verse where he expertly talks his shit. And Donte Thomas, who recently created the Produce Organics Records collective and dropped his new single "Magenta," closes out the cypher strong.

Continue reading »

UPDATE: Portland City Hall Evacuated Due to Suspicious Package

K_MARIE.jpg
K MARIE

UPDATE, 1 pm: Law enforcement has investigated the suspicious package and determined that it poses no risk to the public. Staff are expected to return to City Hall shortly.

Original story, 10:50 am:

Portland City Hall was evacuated Monday morning following the report of a suspicious package, according to the Portland Police Bureau (PPB).

"At 9:36 am, Central Precinct officers responded to a report of a suspicious package at City Hall," PPB wrote in a news release Monday. "Members of the Explosive Disposal Unit responded to assess the package."

"Out of an abundance of caution, it was determined City Hall should be evacuated," PPB continued. "Officers closed down the streets in the immediate vicinity for safety purposes. City Hall is closed and those with business there will not have access until after it is deemed safe."

Continue reading »

Let Love Have the Last Word Review: Common's New Memoir Explores His Day-To-Day

let-love-have-the-last-word-9781501133152_hr.jpg
Atria Books

Originally published by our sister paper, The Stranger.

What millions of us learned when we first heard rap in the late 1970s is that rappers often boast about things they do not have, about glamorous lives they do not live, about credit cards that are not in their wallets. "I got a Lincoln Continental and a sunroof Cadillac / So after school, I take a dip in the pool, which is really on the wall," rapped Big Bank Hank in the second verse of Sugarhill Gang's monumental 1979 hit "Rapper's Delight." He had "checkbooks, credit cards, [and] more money than a sucker could ever spend." This excessive bravado was justified and even encouraged because everyone knew the rapper was poor, mostly likely came from the projects, and was often found waiting in the welfare line.

In the beginning, rap was not about keeping it real, but about escaping from what Marvin Gaye called the "inner city blues." Why would you want to hear about real life when a rapper could roll out a magic carpet of rhymes and transport you to regions of unimaginable wealth? "So Larry put me inside his Cadillac / The chauffeur drove off and we never came back," rapped Joseph "Run" Simmons of Run-DMC on radio's first major modern hip-hop track, "Sucker MC's" in 1984.

Fast-forward to 2019, to a memoir by Chicago-born rapper/actor Common (fka Common Sense, born Lonnie Corant Jaman Shuka Rashid Lynn), Let Love Have the Last Word, and you'll find an MC with more money than a sucker could ever spend. In the first chapter, Common, who claims three masterpieces in the hip-hop canon—Can I Borrow a Dollar? (1992), Resurrection (1994), and Like Water for Chocolate (2000)—and whose collaboration with J Dilla, "Heat," is arguably one of the greatest hip-hop tracks ever made, is looking into a mirror in a Los Angeles fashion designer's studio.

Continue reading »

Portland Thorns Recap: Thorns Defeat Pride 4-3

Sundays never felt so good!
Sundays never felt so good! Photo courtesy of Portland Thorns FC

The Portland Thorns defeated the Orlando Pride 4-3 in a heart-stopping match on Sunday at Providence Park. EXPLODING HEARTS EMOJIS!

The Thorns have played and beat Orlando twice already this season—both times in Orlando. Leading up to this match the Thorns lost at home to the Seattle Reign 0-1 and we all know how much we hate to lose at home. IT HURTS TO WALK WHEN YOU ARE THIS SORE OF A LOSER!

THE FIRST HALF
It took less than five minutes of play for the Thorns to get on the board with a goal. Orlando’s keeper, Haley Kopmeyer, was taking a little too long to distribute the ball for the likes of Thorn forward Haley Raso. So like most of us would, Raso rushed the goalie, then took a heavy-footed ball to the face, found the ball at her feet and carefully knocked it into the net! JUST LIKE SWAYZE SAID, "PAIN DON’T HURT."


Continue reading »

Good Morning, Racist President: Trump Tells Lawmakers of Color to Leave US, Moves to End Asylum Protection for Central Americans, and Begins ICE Raids

Stay up to date on Portland news and politics. Looking for fun? Here are the best Things to Do in Portland today.

GettyImages-1160232844.jpg
Alex Wong / Getty Images

Good morning, Portland! Today's morning news roundup is so saturated with Donald Trump's racist policies and positing that it deserved its own special theme.

Deportation Days of Summer: Trump's promised immigration sweeps began this weekend in some states—and are expected to ramp up as the week goes on. Portland Police have reiterated that they are legally unable to uphold any federal immigration policies, and aren't the enemies (at least, in this situation). Here's how other major cities are preparing for the looming raids.

Aaaaaand: Trump's moving to end asylum protection for most Central American migrants.

Continue reading »

Clark's Heroics Salvage Point for Ten-Man Timbers

IM1.jpg
Craig Mitchelldyer/Portland Timbers
A venue like Providence Park has hosted its share of memorable contests. The one played there on Saturday night between the Portland Timbers and Colorado Rapids might not stand out, but it might well stand alone.

It was a game that had a little bit of everything: a serious, emotional backdrop, a breathtaking own goal, refereeing controversy, injuries, a red card, a penalty, a terrific goal, a series of terrific saves, and a result that left neither side fully content nor terribly disappointed.

In one sense it was a circus, reminiscent of a bygone era in MLS. In another, it was a game that carried an unusual weight.

Considering the energy they spent midweek, and considering that they finished the evening a man down, with Zarek Valentin at center back and Cristhian Paredes at right back, the Timbers deserve credit for surviving it with a point.

Continue reading »

Live Review: Beck at Sunlight Supply Amphitheater, July 11, 2019

Beck
Beck Portland Mercury

Beck has long made the arenas and amphitheaters of the world his playground. In past big-ticket jaunts, he’s included a marionette show that mimicked every move he and his band made onstage and had a full dinner service set-up mid-show (with the glasses, plates, and table being used as instruments for a song or two). He’s peppered his sets with oddball cover songs and synchronized dance routines and other bits of artistic derring-do that showcased his versatility, chops, and smart choice of touring musicians.

Last night’s performance at the Sunlight Supply Amphitheater—the first date of his co-headlining tour with excitable alt-rockers Cage the Elephant—was, by contrast, Beck on autopilot. Granted, the 49-year-old musician going on autopilot still results in one hell of a funky good time. But with a limited window of time to perform and the responsibilities of a summer tour on his shoulders, that left no room to stretch out and take chances.

Continue reading »

Documentary Examines the Leadership Roles of Women in the Cannabis Industry

Women have taken leadership roles in every conceivable aspect of the cannabis industry, and a recent documentary captures the depth and diversity of the successes of these women, whom the filmmakers have dubbed "Puffragettes," as you well know from the classic David Bowie track "Puffragette City." (Goddammit, Josh...—Ed.)

On Wednesday, July 17, the Northwest Film Center presents Mary Janes: The Women of Weed at a one-night screening at the Whitsell Auditorium in the Portland Art Museum. The film's executive producer and director, Windy Borman, and many of the Portland-based subjects of the documentary will be on hand for a pre-show reception and post-show Q&A. The film premiered at film festivals in 2017 and played locally at the Clinton Street Theater in April 2018.

Continue reading »

All Fascists in Chuck Wendig’s Apocalyptic Wanderers Are Coincidental

wanderer.jpg
DEL REY / AUTHOR PHOTO BY EDWIN TSE

"Wanderers is a work of fiction,” reads the edition notice at the start of Chuck Wendig’s new novel. “Names, characters, places, and incidents either are products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.”

As boilerplate legal disclaimers go, okay! Sure! Except with Wanderers, it’s... kind of a lie? The good kind of lie. A lie that, like Wanderers, brings truth into the light.

Continue reading »

Timbers v. Colorado Match Preview

IM1.jpg
Craig Mitchelldyer/Portland Timbers
Coming off of one of their biggest wins of the season in Los Angeles, the Portland Timbers return to Providence Park on Saturday night looking to continue their climb up the Western Conference standings as they host the last-place Colorado Rapids (8 p.m., TV on KPDX).

Continue reading »