I think we can all agree that the Navy needed a new killing machine, correct? But Eric Roberts, what kind of madman would develop a mutant cross between a shark and an octopus? Don’t you realize that a monster of this magnitude would be virtually impossible to control, and eventually go on a hilarious killing […]
Horrors
Posted inReligion
Ladies and Gentlemen, the Amazing (and FURIOUS) Mark Driscoll
Mars Hill Church mastermind denounces male douchebaggery in the name of God, and threatens to deafen the populace. Wowwowowwitywow. Thank you, MetaFilter!
Posted inNews
Today in “I Hate Death”
Do you hate “death”? HEY! ME, TOO! But do you know who really hates death? The 91-year-old widow in this story who was so lonely, she dug up the embalmed corpses of her husband and twin sister and lived with them in her house. So, yeah… she really hates death. On the other hand, the […]
Posted inFood and Drink
Food Having Sex: BLECHHH!
UGH. Look at this food. They’re totally having sex. Now in my job, I’m forced to accept a lot of abhorrent behavior—Sarah Mirk sucking the marrow from what I’m pretty sure was the femur of a dog; Ezra Caraeff incessantly moaning while stroking a rabbit’s pelt—but this? THIS IS JUST TOO MUCH. This is just […]
Posted inBooks
Behold the Horror of the Twihards’ Tent City…
… as seen last night at Bridgeport Village. Photo via Mike Russell of CulturePulp. It’s worth noting that this is only a small sampling of the army of Tweens and Twilight Moms that were there—this line, and others like it, stretched out at least this far in the opposite direction. From deeper in the labyrinthine […]
Posted inPolitics
Rick Barber for Congress… and for Scaring the Shit Out of You with Zombie Abe Lincoln
HEY ZOMBIE ABE LINCOLN! What do you call it when a bunch of faggy liberals steals your hard-won taxes and uses them to feed the homeless? What do you call it? I SAID, WHAT DO YOU CALL IT??? (For Zombie Able Lincoln’s answer, watch the following video paid for by Republican Rick Barber for Congress. […]
Posted in?!?!?
The Fish that Wouldn’t Die
The following video is rated “R” for extremely disturbing content which involves two skinned, headless fish that refuse to die. (Seriously I saw the trailer for Paranormal Activity 2 last night, and this video blows it out of the water on the creepy scale. Note to Hollywood horror directors: Include these fish in every film […]
Posted in?!?!?
Would You Like a Fanta?
Not in Japan, you wouldn’t! Seriously, Japan! STOP IT. I’m not fucking kidding… STOP IT!!!
Posted in?!?!?
Today in Your Most Horrible Nightmares
This video of a giant spider crab starts off creepy… because, well… it’s a giant spider crab. However, then it gets kind of charming, because the filming reminds me of a Tim Burton stop motion flick. BUT THEN? Around the :50 second mark your worst nightmare will become a reality when the giant crab sheds […]
Posted inGirls Only!
Today in Appropriate Penis Mutilation
According to Gizmodo, an inventor in South Africa has come up with a product that should put quite a damper on the nation’s raping industry. It’s a condom… worn by a woman… that has sharp razors inside… that tears the fuck out of any penis that tries to rape her. INTRIGUED? Read on… The inventor, […]
Posted inDrunk
So This Probably Didn’t Need to Exist…
Ah, but it exists all the same. Showing the same display of judgment and artistic integrity that gave the world this album cover, Whitesnake has now released Whitesnake Zinfandel (it’s not a white zinfandel, although the name is confusing). Says Mr. David Coverdale: “It’s a bodacious, cheeky little wine, filled to the brim with the […]
Posted inMovies & TV
Fifty Years of Psycho
Fifty years ago today, Alfred Hitchcock’s Psycho was released. (And 11.5 years ago, the useless Gus Van Sant remake was released.) Here’s the original trailer for Psycho, which has the phlegmatic Hitchcock rambling in front of the movie’s sets, accompanied by some cheery orchestral music. I love trailers like this—trailers that stand separate from the […]