Watch the following short video, and then take the accompanying poll below: CONDEMN OR ALLOW: BOOKS FOR CHRISTMAS
Oh, You Kids!
Posted inSex
Sexy Teens: Christians Really Hate Them! (And by “Hate” I Mean “Get Horny About”)
The (I’m So Glad They’re Not My) Parents Television Council is super hot ‘n’ bothered—emphasis on hot—over the depictions of teenage female sexuality on TV, guys! In fact, they’re so outraged and incensed, they watched A POOP TON of it, and made the following extremely sexy “supercut” of teen girls gone wild on Glee, Gossip […]
Posted inEthics
I’m Pro-Choice (If You’re Talking about Choosing to Punch this 12-Year-Old in the Face)
Ladies and gentlemen, in case you’re wondering what you’re going to be upset about when the Christine O’Donnells, Sarah Palins, and Ann Coulters of the world dry up and die—DON’T SWEAT IT! Super-annoying 12-year-old Lia Mills is ready and willing to take their place. Check out her “logical” argument against abortion and how making this […]
Posted inOh, You Kids!
Today in “You Are Old”
Does anybody know who these people are? My friends on the Justin Bieber fansite have been tweeting about it for the past three days, and we’re totally stumped! via
Posted inOh, You Kids!
Stupid, Stupid Baby: WAKE UP YOU STUPID BABY!!
As proven earlier, BABIES ARE STUPID!! And for those who need further proof, look no further than stupid, stupid baby Bennett who is so stupid he can’t even eat a meal without falling asleep. (Actually, I’m ashamed to say this video is like looking in a mirror—except I’m at Burger King at 2:30 am on […]
Posted inOh, You Kids!
Stupid, Stupid Baby
You may think the following video—which depicts a toddler unsuccessfully trying to drink from a garden hose—is “adorable.” However, how adorable will this person be in 17 years when he’s doing a keg stand on the vomit-coated balcony of a frat house? I think of these things.
Posted inMusic
What Does the Billboard Hot 100 Indicate Anymore?
There was a piece in NPR’s Morning Edition today about Billboard’s new “Social 50” chart that tracks music sales and popularity through social networks like Facebook and Twitter. At the end of the story there was a tag about what song is currently topping Billboard’s Ye Old Hot 100 chart, a supposed indicator of what […]
Posted inOh, You Kids!
Who Does This Bitch Think She IS???
On what is my last day as a highly regarded Mercury Intern, I’m hoping that by now you guys know how much I hate this little bitch and I hope, through my blog posts that started WAYYYY back in early October, you have grown to hate her too. While this isn’t breaking news, I’m going […]
Posted inMovies & TV
The Lil’est Racist (Who Also Happens to be a Film Critic)!
I don’t know, guys! I’m thinking I’m NOT going to hire Lil’ Andrew of internet’s The Andrew Show to write film reviews for the Mercury. First of all, he makes WAY too big of a deal about being white. Secondly, he has a really weird pseudo-British accent/speech defect that creeps me out. Thirdly, while he’s […]
Posted inHorrors
Baby Laugh a Lot: I’m Not Laughing
Okay, so maybe I’m too late for Halloween, but Baby Laugh a Lot is still perfect for Christmas. That is, if Christmas also includes blood-curdling laughter and some of the most horrific children you’ve ever seen. Oh, Baby Laugh a Lot… you’re a SCREAM.