The New Yorker can suck it. Because here is everything you need to know about surviving tomorrow’s earthquake (which will occur at exactly 8:42 am)—courtesy of ANONYMOUS! The stuff you need for your just-in-time lives will go fast… so here are some Do’s and Don’ts: Do stock up with a bunch of water, canned food, […]
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The I, Anonymous Blog Quote o’ the Day!
Hey, look! Somebody brought a toddler to a Morrissey concert! HAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAA!! You chose to bring you daughter who is young enough to still be in pull-up pants to the Morrissey show at edgefield. Why you would choose to buy a child that young an $80 ticket instead of getting a babysitter… I’ll never know. You […]
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The I, Anonymous Blog Quote o’ the Day!
Here’s a super thoughtful and articulate post from the I, Anonymous Blog files: Probably gonna sound sexist but… STOP THE PRESSES. I don’t think we need to go any further than that. Yep. Definitely sexist. This blog post is canceled. Actually… blog post back on, because a different post, “The Topknot Contagion,” takes an interesting […]
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The I, Anonymous Blog Quote of the Day
An I, Anonymous poster takes “stalk” of their drive home in the post Crazy on NE Fremont. Driving home, I stopped at a crosswalk/bike crossing to let some people cross the street. You leaned on the horn behind me and yelled something I couldn’t hear. Then you followed me home. Well, not home, because when […]
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The I, Anonymous Blog Quote of the Day
Go check out Hey Neighbors! over on the I, Anonymous Blog. Neighbors… amirite? The worst. Every attempt I make at acknowledging your existence is greeted by your fascination with the soil. Well, okay. Maybe you have Aspergers or maybe you think my partner and I are assholes or maybe you moved here from some fascinating […]
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The I, Anonymous Blog Quote of the Day
LOCK UP YOUR CATS! Marjorie touched on this anonymous tip from a Vancouver resident in her post about a stabbed dog found in Woodlawn Park. Over on the I, Anonymous Blog, one of our northern neighbors claims to have found their cat, Baby, stabbed in the stomach. What the hell, people? Nobody stabs Baby in […]
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The I, Anonymous Blog Quote o’ the Day!
There is “hatred”… and then there is HATRED. I would watch you driving off of a cliff and burning alive on repeat if it was caught on video. Very few people have made me hate them as much as I hate you. You are a terrible boss, a terrible husband, and an even worse human […]
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I, Anonymous: “I’m Robbing Your House This Weekend”
Illustration: Kalah Allen It’s going to be hot this weekend—the weather report says it’s going to be almost 100. It’s the perfect time for me to rob you. You’ll be going to the coast, or to the river, or to the pool. You’ll leave your windows open, because you always do. I’ll hang around down […]
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The I, Anonymous Blog Quote o’ the Day!
Are you a jerk who also wants to get into online dating? You may want to read this first…. Hello, shitty old boss of mine. Saw your ad on a dating site. I created a profile to compliment yours (minus 10+ years or so) and began our tryst. So far so good, and you have […]
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I, Anonymous: Our Breakroom is NOT a Garbage Dump!
Illustration: Kalah Allen Dear not-so-well-meaning coworker: The break-room table is not your free box. In the tradition of Portland, please deliver your unwanted items curbside and set them in a cardboard box. No one is going to eat those two heels from a loaf of bread left stranded in a sea of clutter. The secretaries […]
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The I, Anonymous Blog Quote o’ the Day!
The I, Anonymous Blog is a great place to get things off your chest. For example, this submission, sensitively titled, “Hey, Husband Fucker!” I don’t think you are a shitty person because you were fucking around with my husband for 5 years, avoiding me at parties, and stalking me on facebook. I think that’s all […]
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The I, Anonymous Blog Quote o’ the Day
When is consistently drunk “too drunk”? Ms. I, Anonymous wants to know… I’ve been steadily and heavily drinking since I was 15, with breaks here and there, but since now I’m of legal drinking age in the States, I’ve turned to the bottle time and time again only to wake up the next morning bruised […]