She’s baaaaccckkkk. Remember how much Marjorie hated this little girl? The world’s most annoying little fashionista did this horrible interview the other day, and I want to stab her in her eyeballs. “Every little girl should have a dress, like… then I don’t think they need pants”—genius! Is this girl one of the New Jersey […]
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Posted inCrime
Inside the Minds of Portland’s Bank Robbery Suspects
Last week, police finally arrested the trio suspected of being the gun-toting, Halloween-mask-wearing bank robbers who had been terrorizing Portland’s US Banks for two months. The trio’s genius plan—which involved purchasing cars on Craigslist using marked bills and a work e-mail address—was apparently not enough to outwit Portland’s finest. But it gets better! All three […]
Posted inSchools
Cleveland High School Dance Cancelled For Fear of “Grinding”
nydailynews.com Fun! Apparently high school teachers don’t like watching their students dry hump to Chris Brown. Cleveland High School is calling off its January winter formal because students can’t seem to resist rubbing their goodies all up on each other on the dance floor and their teachers have consequently refused to chaperone the upcoming dance. […]
Posted inVideo
Your Daily Bummer
This is the most insane thing I think I’ve ever seen. After this racist white woman in Massachusetts hits this poor USPS worker with her mail, she continues on with a very racist rant. Oh, and after all this, the postal worker was fired. INSANE. Via Perez Hilton
Posted inBooks
Read The Tea Party Children’s Book About How Obama Stole Christmas. No, Really.
Here’s something I didn’t have time to write about while I was hauling ass out of last night’s Tea Party Election Night Bonanza. While I made my rounds of different groups’ tables I found the MOST AMAZING OBJECT. How could I not buy this book? The Liberal Clause: Socialism on a Sleigh is written by […]
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Modern Board Games Make Me Angry
Yesterday I was stranded for an hour in the Hollywood Fred Meyer’s waiting to get a prescription filled for old man medicine. Or that’s what I should have been waiting for because apparently being in a Fred Meyer’s for extended periods of time turns me into a grumpy, old misanthrope who sees every product as […]
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Nice Things to Distract You From Rage on Election Day
I am ANGRY. For good reasons! 1) It’s election day and I woke up with a heavy sense of dooooom. 2) To shake off the dooooom, I went to my neighborhood coffee shop and the person in front of me in line got all snippy with the barista because she couldn’t remember the customer’s “regular” […]
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The Human Race Wrote Me a Letter.
No really, look, this letter addressed to “Sara Mirk, The Jerk” arrived yesterday. Please note: American flag upside down: The human race is in distress. The human race is slightly paranoid. The human race is sloppy; they can’t spell my name right. So, what is it the human race wants to say? The envelope contained […]
Posted inReligion
Something You Won’t See On The Mercury‘s Event Calendar
Last night I was forwarded an email entitled “POWERFUL 11:11 GLOBAL LINK UP” filled with promises of amazing opportunities for me, you and everyone else in the world. What was inside was too silly not to share with you here. “It is time for us to reap the rewards of our long and arduous labors,” […]
Posted inMovies & TV
Leave Michael Jackson’s Corpse Alone!
Remember when Michael Jackson died and director Kenny Ortega put together a bunch of footage from the last tour he was preparing and released it as a movie? Remember how embarrassing that was? Well get ready to squirm because, according to Deadline, Ortega is attached to direct a new MJ cash-in: a feature length movie […]
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It’s Time to Play: “GUESS! WHERE! THIS! GUY! IS!”
Hello Blogtownies, and welcome to our newest online game show we like to call, “GUESS! WHERE! THIS! GUY! IS!” The rules are simple: Watch the following video, and then? “GUESS! WHERE! THIS! GUY! IS!” Okay, think you got it? Alright then! “GUESS! WHERE! THIS! GUY! IS!”
Posted inFood and Drink
“Enjoy Your Delicious Moments” – Pizza Box Art Crit
Whenever I pick up a pizza, unless it’s from a major chain, there’s a good chance that it comes to me in a box that looks like this: I have so much to say about this design I don’t know where to begin. Frankly, I’m not sure how an image this weird became the industry […]