What follows is a rendition of “Jesus Loves Me” by Baby Lu-Lu—I would guess a 40-year-old woman pretending to be three-years-old. It starts off creepy, and by the 30 second mark, you may say, “Okay… I get it.” BUT YOU DON’T GET IT. Because from there it gets more and more creepy, with creepiness piling […]
Horrors
Posted in?!?!?
My Boss Really, Really Wants Me to Tell You About Vanilla Ice’s Kangaroo
Before he left the office for the day (ducking out early, I should add), my esteemed boss and Mercury editor Wm. Steven Humphrey forwarded me an email, adding: This is for you, and if it is not mentioned on Blogtown, you will be killed then fired.Steve Since I would prefer to be neither of those […]
Posted inMusic
…And Down Goes Buffett
In regards to Steve’s brief mention yesterday in GMN, TMZ presents, Jimmy Buffett falling off a stage. Don’t worry, that large pile of money and pool of margarita mix broke his fall.This and more at End Hits!
Posted inHorrors
Today in Albanian Picnics
Hey guys! The sun’s out! Let’s have a picnic. Wait… WAIT! I know… Let’s have an Albanian picnic! You bring the mandolins, I’ll bring the cold cuts, and as for the rest of you… oh, I don’t know. Brings your guns, I guess. Bring a shitload of guns. via
Posted inHorrors
Today’s Mercury Safety Training Video
Since it’s been 27 minutes since the Mercury‘s last on-the-job accident (Guys! Lube is for genitalia! Not the floor!), it’s probably time for another classic safety training video. You’ll like this one because of the Portishead-style droney soundtrack, and the absolutely hilarious/gorey workplace accidents. (Though I’m pretty sure at least two-thirds of these guys were […]
Posted inBikes
My Underpants: A Public Service Announcement
As you may have surmised, last week I was walking around the office in my underpants. BUT THIS TIME I HAD A GOOD REASON! The BTA (Bicycle Transportation Alliance) called up a couple of weeks ago, and the conversation went something like this. BTA: Hey Steve, we need a favor. We want to produce a […]
Posted inMedia
TV News Discovers Trolling
Hey, did you guys know about trolling? It’s a serious problem! (Via Laughing Squid.)
Posted inEvents
Sing-Along Horrors
Fleur de Lethal Cinematheque‘s sing-out Little Shop of Horrors: Depending on your level of masochism, this either sounds like a blast or an event akin to eating glass. You know who you are. I fall more on the fun side. Help the sing-along crew at Fleur de Lethal celebrate their third anniversary with a screening […]
Posted inHorrors
“Lock and Load” Rhetoric in Right-Wing Politics?
Sarah Palin put a bulls-eye on Gabrielle Giffords. I hate to cast the shooting and likely assassination of a Democratic Congresswoman as the latest—and most chilling—example that political discourse in the United States has veered well past the point of civility. But it’s a fair question, even as we wait for more information to come […]
Posted in?!?!?
Dead Blackbirds! Dead Sardines! Dead Doves! DEAD! DEAD! DEAD!!
The mysterious dead animal body count continues to rise! (Is it time to panic yet?)Four to five thousand blackbirds die and fall from the sky in Arkansas! 500 more birds fall in Louisiana! 100,000 fish mysteriously die in Arkansas, roughly 100 miles away from where those birds perished! Two million dead fish in Chesapeake Bay! […]
Posted inHorrors
The Quotable Bieber
“I’m crazy, I’m nuts. Just the way my brain works. I’m not normal. I think differently — my mind is always racing. I’m just… nuts. But I think the best musicians probably are. It’s hard to really balance myself. A regular kid, if he catches the flu, he just gets to go home. But I […]